Last week's Warehouse 13 premiere saw Pete, Myka and Co. tie up the MacPherson thread of season one and introduce the female H.G. Wells as season two's antagonist. So naturally, such a development would be followed up with a fairly inconsequential, one-off episode, the only redeeming value of which being two guest stars with ample nerd cred: Firefly's Jewel Staite and Sean Maher. (Simon and Kaylee were hardly my favorite characters, but dammit if I couldn't stop grinning during this episode. A little fan service now and then never hurts.) But which of this week's relics would you venture into M.C. Escher's vault for?
Relics: Loretta (Jewel Staite) and Sheldon (Sean Maher)
Specifications: Let us brush the dust off these two! This squee-inspiring pair gives credence to an otherwise uninteresting episode. Warning: Sheldon tends toward overt, dramatic shows of devotion, starting with donning the unnamed, density-altering gym shorts that give him superpowers and threaten to raze Detroit (see below). Note: Not actual relics.
Covetability: Very high. Don't tell me you don't want to find Firefly alumni tending a diner in your town -- whatever misguided superhero shenanigans they might be up to.
Relic: Unnamed, density-altering gym shorts
Specifications: These backstory-less magic shorts will alter your density (Myka explains without making any sense) so that you can leap tall buildings in a single bound a la Pete's comic book hero, the Iron Shadow. Warning: Will alter your density to the point that you will turn into a black hole.
Covetability: Low. Hold out for the Power-Suck Suit (which is not its actual name) because it isn't a pair of shorts.
Relic: Claudia's Power-Suck Suit
Specifications: Conveniently designed by Claudia just for the purpose of counteracting the shorts about to turn Detroit into a black hole, this one comes in two parts. First, you've got the suit, which neutralizes kinetic energy directed toward you. Second, you've got the gloves which allow you to channel the stored kinetic energy. Warning: Causes impotency in men.
Covetability: Medium. The impotency factor is a strike against it, but it also loses points for actually just not being a relic. And doesn't it feel a little cheap that Claudia just whipped it up in about 10 minutes? Yes it does.
Did the fan service have its intended effect on you (make you giggle like a 13-year-old girl with a "Team Edward" T-shirt)? Discuss!