The L.A. Times goes overboard with its Inception coverage today, putting the Warner Bros. release on the front page of the business section with a story about how its box-office success is anything but a slam dunk. (Hmm, where have I read that before?) Cited amongst the reasons is the iffy starpower of Leonardo DiCaprio when compared with other A-listers like Will Smith and Brad Pitt. And, as it turns out, both of those actors were considered to lead Inception before DiCaprio signed on. If only! Why not apply this interesting production footnote to the other would-be blockbusters released already this summer? It's time to recast the failures!
· Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Problem: Hey, remember when this movie existed? While the overseas total of over $230 million has been nice, that Jerry Bruckheimer's summer kickoff could only gross $89 million domestically is a bit embarrassing. Perhaps despite some washboard abs and Tim Riggins-like hair, Jake Gyllenhaal just isn't that famous.
Solution: To complete an almost-circle, replace Jake with Tobey Maguire.
· The A-Team
Problem: Whether it was because of the 37 screenwriters, the overwrought special effects or the fact that no one actually wanted to see a remake of The A-Team, the Fox actioner was one of the year's disappointments.
Solution: But that's nothing a better cast couldn't fix! Keep Bradley Cooper, but toss everyone else overboard. Sharlto Copley might have been the best part of the film, but he's not Owen Wilson -- gone! "Rampage" Jackson was good for a few quotes, but he isn't The Rock! And Liam Neeson might be a bad ass, but he's no match for the silky smooth charm of George Clooney. Now that's a blockbuster cast. As for director Joe Carnahan: Is Brian De Palma available?
· Knight & Day
Problem: Putting everything about Tom Cruise aside for a moment, the fact is that he's currently a tired brand name. You don't see Tom Hanks lighting up box-office records any more either -- unless, of course, he's voicing a toy. Plus, we've all seem him in this role template before. It was just done too many times.
Solution: Short of Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift taking the lead roles, how does this sound: Cruise as the villain (so long Peter Sarsgaard!), Steve Carell in the Cameron Diaz role and Angelina Jolie as the special agent. Tell me that wouldn't be more appealing.
· Jonah Hex
Problem: Everything.
Solution: Betty White.