What's On: Staub in the Name of Love

Danielle Staub may resemble a haughtier Dave Navarro, but that doesn't means she can't throw down like the NJ lady prizefighter we all want her to be. In tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the beleaguered Staub goes toe to toe against two of her adversaries. Results should be explosive, loud, accusatory, and embarrassing.

The Bachelorette [ABC, 8 PM]

Ali visits the four remaining bachelors' hometowns. I'm nervous for my man Kirk, whose Wisconsin residence is festooned with animal heads and wood paneling. After a quick rose ceremony, the three bachelors left move on to Tahiti.

Real Housewives of New Jersey [Bravo, 10 PM]

The tension between Jacqueline, Danielle, and Teresa culminates in a screamy, prostitution-whorey fight, and the police are called. See what happens when Dina Manzo leaves the show? Utter cacophony.

The Good Guys [Fox, 9 PM]

Dan (Bradley Whitford) and his partner Jack (Colin Hanks) get into trouble with a gun-running ring. I expect the pseudo-Starsky catchphrases to fly with particular flair in this episode.

Rizzoli & Isles [TBS, 10 PM]

Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander play tough-talking crime fighters in the style of Cagney and Lacey in this gritty pilot. Does Angie Harmon have the Sharon Gless bite needed to topline a crime drama? We find out, with fists and hopes clenched, tonight.

Terror Train [FMC, 10 PM]

It may not have the legacy of either Halloween or Prom Night, but this Jamie Lee Curtis horror staple from 1980 is actually better than the latter film -- and better yet, David Copperfield co-stars. See, now you're an idiot not to have seen this already.