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Twilight Stars Will Make AT LEAST $25 Million Doing Some Weird, Weird Things

I know I previously begged for a little pity on behalf of poor, beleaguered Robert Pattinson, but consider my mercy at an end. Vulture is reporting that all three Twilight stars -- that's Pattinson, Kristin Stewart, and passionate wolfboy Taylor Lautner for those of you just returning from a cave on Mars -- are set to pull in a record payday for the bifurcated last chapter of the Twilight saga.

The emo-natural trio is reportedly each in line to receive a cool $25 million for the next two films PLUS an additional 7.5 percent of the gross. For those of us that didn't major in Hollywood Math, that means that if Breaking Dawn parts one and two do anywhere close to what New Moon did, then that's an extra $14 million each. There's supposed to be some pretty gonzo stuff in the last movie(s) -- fetus-punching, blood-vomiting, and a werewolf-baby love connection are just some of the odder bullet points -- but I'm sure a possible $39 million paycheck will help gloss over some more ridiculous elements yet to come. So just remember Taylor: as you struggle to figure out how a man in his early twenties can fall instantly in love with a newborn infant, just think to yourself, "Bottomless soup and salad at Olive Garden, bottomless soup and salad at Olive Garden, bottomless soup and salad at Olive Garden!"

ยท Pattinson, Stewart, and Lautner Guaranteed at Least $25 Million Apiece for the Last Two 'Twilights' [Vulture]