Kathy Griffin's D-List adventures took her "North to the Future" last night to Wasilla, Alaska, the quaint town that still gives Air Force Two pilots night terrors. In addition to signing a few books and helping pick a date for her assistant Tiffany, Kathy tracked down her former "lover" Levi Johnston and joined him on a recreational tour of his homeland. The whole trek was an exercise in meta-reality, but that doesn't mean we can't suss out its most "real" and "fake" moments. Bullsh*t bifocals ready, Griffindorks.
REAL: Kathy's fans took multiple plane trips just to see her at Borders signing.
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In a touching montage at the book signing (where Levi also signed copies of his Playgirl cover issue), a trio of Kathy's Alaskan fans claimed they came from the "bush of Alaska," took two flights, and spent four figures just to see her. That's a pretty remarkable hejira just to end up at a chain bookstore. Now, I know we haven't reached the "fake" portion of the entry yet, but if Levi Johnston was really her surprise guest, why would did many of the attendees tote copies of his Playgirl issue? Oh well. The fans were real-ish.
FAKE: Kathy goes ice fishing for hours with Levi
After almost vanishing under water when she tried to drill a hole in a frozen river, Kathy sat by Levi's truck and fished for trout for what was purportedly a long time. Please. The ginger be trippin'. I suspect she "fished" for as long as it took the crew to get shots of her hangdog ennui from every angle. I'd forgive this except that the fishing segment felt emblematic of her Alaskan episode in general -- too rushed, calculated and joyless. Aside from when she stole a Victoria's Secret catalog from the mayor's office (which also could've qualified for this week's "real" moment), Kathy spent this episode livening up her languid surroundings with artificial sass. But ultimately, the Levi Johnston affair -- and her weird vacations in general -- is one long-dead pig that Kathy keeps trying to save with lipstick treatments.