And you thought Horse-Boy had the makings of a good Hollywood project. On Monday, federal prosecutors charged 11 people with being part of a Russian espionage ring. In other words: Spies! And lest you think this isn't like some Cold War paranoia fantasy, the accused -- who were "living under false names and deep cover in a patient scheme to penetrate what one coded message called American 'policy making circles'" -- partook in every spy cliche you could imagine: forged passports, false identities, messages written in invisible ink and even the exchanging of "identical orange bags as they brushed past one another in a train station stairway." Suck it, John le Carré! Unless this is all an elaborate viral marketing campaign for Salt, the Russian spies seem ripe for Hollywood intervention. But this story is too sprawling for just a movie -- it needs a TV show. Ahead, Movieline looks at the five networks who should be interested.
· HBO
The obvious choice. It could be like The Sopranos but with Russian agents: A conflicted patriarch leads a double life and tries to protect his family against two ambitious and antagonistic governments. Ray Winstone stars.
· Showtime
After the arrest of Montclair, N.J., residents Richard and Cynthia Murphy, their 15-year-old neighbor joked, "They couldn't have been spies. Look what she did with the hydrangeas." A strong, suburban housewife leading a secret and more scandalous life? Mary Louise-Parker, say hello to your new series.
· AMC
They already have Rubicon, so it wouldn't be that much of a leap. AMC can tackle this from the other side -- the American law enforcement agent trying to figure out why America has been invaded by S.V.R. agents. Though, considering how crazy conspiratorial Rubicon was, would it shock anyone if that series already planned on dealing with this?
· Bravo
When the aforementioned New Jersey couple wanted to buy a bigger house, their Russian overlords bristled. But the Murphys argued that the "purchase of the house was solely a natural progression of our prolonged stay here. It was a convenient way to solving the housing issue, plus 'to do as the Romans do' in a society that values home ownership." Andy Cohen couldn't have written a better reality show pitch himself. Don't be shocked when Real Housewives and Russian Spies, starring the Murphys and Danielle Staub premieres next summer.
· MTV
Donald Heathfield and Tracey Foley are alleged Russian spies who lived in Cambridge, Mass., with their two teenage sons -- teenage sons who liked shoveling snow and, according to one neighbor, having "very loud" parties. Forget Jason Bourne: This is a job for The Situation, Snooki and Pauly D. Either that or True Life: My Parents Are Russian Spies.