Which of Cougar Town's Freakish New Titles Do You Prefer?

Creator Bill Lawrence has planned on retitling Cougar Town for months now, and while his original choice of C-Town has our vote, E! reports that the suits at ABC are considering a more drastic name change, including one that's so dramatic it actually... is insane. Insane. Let's break down the weird new titles of Cougar Town together, as a traumatized family.

· Friends and Family

Inoffensive but also unassuming. It sounds like a Dinah Shore program set in a kitchen, a failed Ellen DeGeneres sitcom, or a one-woman show starring Carol Burnett. Luckily for this title, Cougar Town is ostensibly about friends and family. There's also the Courteney Cox Friends tie-in, which makes this choice desperate but understandable.

Score: 4 (out of 10)

· Friends and Neighbors

A little weird. "Friends" and "neighbors" aren't opposing forces on Cougar Town, and much of the time they're the same thing. Nothing about this reminds me of the show. It smacks of rejiggered Julius Caesar monologues or the preamble to Jerry Springer's Final Thoughts.

Score: 3

· The Cul de Sac Neighborhood

Crazy goggles strapped on! We've reached the point in the list where Japanese electronics companies have been hired to offer titles. I can't even tell if Cul de Sac Neighborhood is redundant or just senseless. Rule #1 of renaming TV series, ABC: Do not use titles that sound like ransom notes left by illiterate criminals. "Deer Mr. or Misses: We stol yer kid from the cul-de-sac neighborhood. Plz leave $1 bil in a sootcase by da arcade. FANKU."

Score: 1

· The End of the Street

The End of the Street would make (and likely is) a fine Shel Silverstein poem, but as a sitcom title it's wordy and, uh, fatalistic? No one wants to see a cougar licking her wounds at life's dead end.

Score: 3

· The Neighborhood

Sounds like English, anyway! Weeee. Peabody committee on line two.

Score: 4

· Jules Neighborhooding

I give you western civilization's greatest word pairing. Jules effing Neighborhooding. That is real! That is real. Is Neighborhooding Jules's maiden name? Her Magillicutty? Or is it another non-word dreamt up by the innovators at Sensei-Vox Electronics Fun Unlimited? ABC, you are tickling me too hard today. Let's go neighborhooding sometime.

By the way, I've said "Neighborhooding" 10 times out loud. So I guess it's the big winner!

Score: 10

Courteney Cox May Star in a New 'Friends' [E! Online]