Disturbing news has come out that may affect the fistpump equilibrium in Seaside Heights: MTV reportedly new shot footage for Jersey Shore that left the network underwhelmed. This doesn't mean the format of the show will change; it means that four Jersey Shore cast members are likely to lose their spots on the show for season three. Oh, horrors! Someone call a juicehead to explain this to the children! Hold your breath and join us to learn if your favorite guido/guidette is on the way out.
According to TMZ, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny, and Angelina could be hitting the skids.
Comforting thoughts: Angelina was rightly jettisoned in season one, so I consider her dismissal comeuppance for MTV. Take that, hater. And Sammi's never had a single quotable line on Jersey Shore. You need to be a bark-colored Dorothy Parker if you're going to survive on this show, Sammi.
But my devastation concerns Vinny and Ronnie. I know Vinny's not all that memorable, but he's adorable and reasonable. I like a rational hub in this mess. A nicely eyebrowed center. And Ronnie's dance moves alone, which I have lovingly titled the "spasmic getdown tornado," should qualify him for another summer of fun.
Check back with us for more updates on this worst news ever.