The sixth season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List kicks off tonight with our not-so-D-List comedienne landing a bit role on a certain NBC drama and taking acting lessons from a famous diva. Will she finally become a respected primetime actress? Will she ooze sexuality and one-liners with equal aplomb? Or will all her best work be censored?
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List [Bravo, 9 PM]
After taking acting lessons from Liza Minnelli in her New York apartment, Kathy joins the cast of Law and Order: SVU for a single episode on D-List's sixth season premiere. Her girl-on-girl kiss with Mariska Hargitay is cut from the episode, and Kathy will inevitably have to explain it to the LGBT community, who she will line up outside her home in a magnificent bandstand.
America's Got Talent [NBC, 8 PM]
More and more auditions! What kinds of talent haven't we seen yet? A hip-hop unicyclist? A street gang of Lawrence Welk imitators? A 300-pound singer-songwriter who breaks in half to reveal two thin singer-songwriters? The possibilities are unnervingly endless.
Cupcake Wars [Food, 9 PM]
Cupcakes have become an industry in recent years, and in this competition, they're a competitive artform. In the debut episode, the combatants must use seaweed and salt to make cupcakes at Sea World. I mean, it sounds delicious. (Big secret about cupcakes in Los Angeles: Any Pillsbury mix you buy in a store tastes better than designer stuff. I didn't want to believe it either.)
Pink Floyd: The Wall [Fuse, 10 PM]
That's enough reality TV for one evening -- time to move onto surreality. This dreamy visualization of Pink Floyd's 1982 album (the third highest-selling of all time) chronicles the life of an alienated rock-star (Bob Geldof). Just tune in and let the strange senselessness wash over you -- you don't need no education!