Last week on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle taught viewers that if you buy a man a new suit, he will stop using gay slurs. When she returned last night, she focused all of her negative energy on sex tape rumors while Dina enjoyed her last moments in front of Bravo's cameras and the cast visited a petting zoo. Revisit the drama after the jump, when Movieline examines the moments that hit the Real/Fake Jackpot.
REAL: Teenage Girls Don't Like Being Told They Look Like Their Fat Relatives
...It's just a fact of life. A fact of life that Jacqueline cruelly ignored when she told her hormonally-charged daughter that she looks like her grandmother. Apparently, that is the worst insult in the history of the Real Housewives of New Jersey because Ashley teared up, told her mother to leave her alone and then charged into the men's goomba poker game. Everyone knows that you can't have women sitting in a poker game, so Ashley's parents forcibly removed her from the house. Ashley later explained the confrontation via confessional:
"My mom had said that I looked like one of my relatives who, I love them to death, but they're a lot bigger than me. But I got really mad at her."
FAKE: Danielle Feels Vulnerable
Last night while discussing the sex tape that Danielle alleges her former "scumbag boyfriend" released, she lamented that "it is going to take a lot for me to feel open again." But Danielle had an idea -- why not go try on lingerie and dance on a stripper pole for Bravo's cameras? That would certainly make her feel less vulnerable. So she tried on skimpy underwear and sheer nighties and struck different poses for the cameras. At one point, she even flashed everyone. Then, Danielle took the whole crew plus the ex-con ruffians who have been hanging around her the past few episodes to a local strip joint. As the ex-cons ogled from the bar, Danielle approached the pole and did things to that I don't even want to repeat -- things that should have been censored by Bravo -- things that proved that this women is not vulnerable.