So: Alvin Greene. The story's getting around quite a bit by now. It's one of those "only in America" triumphs of the little guy -- and not necessarily in a good way. The unemployed Greene, 32, on Tuesday won the South Carolina primary election that resulted in his nomination as the Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate. Except he didn't campaign, he had (and still has) no staff, and no one knows how or where Greene came up with the $10,000 filing fee to enter a race that he won with almost 60 percent of the vote. He'd already been labeled a "plant" by House Majority Whip (and fellow S.C. Democrat) Jim Clyburn, and another, even more fantastic theory ripped from The Manchurian Candidate suggests the Army veteran is a North Korean operative working to infiltrate Washington. (Quick! Hide the queen of diamonds!)
Frankly, I don't care either way, because South Carolina's power corridors are historically a place where rational, ethical behavior has had no quarter, and anyway, I live in New York, where you can't throw a rock without hitting some scaly politician with even fewer scruples than these guys. But that politician won't go on Countdown two days after his colossally suspect primary victory, delivering the harshest torrent of unalloyed bullsh*t since, well, Tony Heyward's last press appearance on behalf of BP.
Anyway, America, we've got problems, and they're bigger than Portman not knowing Chris Hemsworth was on Dancing with the Stars. And until Hollywood starts loosening its own bowels again, Awkward Video Week is about as hot it gets around here. And... scene.
[Countdown clip via Videogum]