Last night, the Real Housewives of New York City cast assembled on a magenta couch in midtown Manhattan for the first of a three-installment reunion. The ladies answered Andy Cohen's hardball questions -- like, "Alex, why was your husband so bloated this season?" and "Ramona, have you had anything injected into your face lately?" -- and then scratched each others eyes out. Click through for the moments (and disses) that made the Movieline Real/Fake alarm sound.
REAL: Kelly Bensimon Needs a Translator
Ever since Kelly had her nervous breakdown on Housewives Island, she has not been the same. She rambles incoherently like she just walked out of shock treatment. Here are a few sentences that Kelly put together in last night's episode:
· "If you're going to pee on a stick on camera, you should actually have the door open and be peeing on a stick.
· "Thank you, I am a fly."
· "If I look bad, you look better."
· "Alex, close your legs."
After Kelly defended herself from the Housewives' attacks with the chorus "I don't know! I don't know!" and tried to make a few of her own ineffective attacks ("You had people working for you!"), moderator Andy Cohen started to feel bad. So he tried to tease salient points out of poor defenseless Kelly. "What you are trying to say is that Bethenny has a P.R. person that was planting stories about your family, right?"
It was sad, and clear that if anyone needs to pull a Dina Manzo in this cast, it is Kelly.
FAKE: The Phrase "You Have the Body of a Model But Not the Face" is a Compliment
As Kelly made chirping sounds throughout last night's episode (and really, who could blame her?), Jill Zarin came under attack after attack after attack. Bethenny accused her of planting stories in the New York Post, assassinating her character on camera and becoming an ugly person altogether. Ramona said Jill badmouthed her on the runway and insulted her jewelry collection on the season premiere yacht episode. Bethenny circled back to accuse Jill of sending her teenage daughter to weight-loss camp and dividing the cast into cliques. And then, Alex accused Jill of calling her ugly at Brooklyn Fashion Weekend.
"I said that you were channeling the devil! I wasn't calling you ugly!" Jill said incredulously.
Bethenny piped in, "You said she had the body of a model but not the face."
Ramona was silent a few beats and then said, "I know it came out that way, but I honestly was not calling you ugly."