Last night's episode of The Hills brought viewers a single week closer to The End. The installment, "The Company You Keep," proved again that Lo is the wisest of the Hills cast members, Audrina has horrific taste in men and that Brody Jenner is the perfect candidate for MTV's in-development series Misogynist Boot Camp. Click through to see who survived Stephanie Pratt's birthday party alive and which moments hit the Real/Fake Jackpot this week.
REAL: Girls With Emotions Freak Out Brody
To paraphrase Pride and Prejudice, it is a truth universally acknowledged that Brody Jenner has commitment issues -- at least that is the point that the Hills' producers make by cobbling together scenes in which Brody sleeps with a female, harasses her for suggesting a monogamous relationship and then pits said female against another of his conquests.
Last night's cage match featured fresh-faced McKaela in one corner of an L.A. club and Kristin in the other. The party started out smoothly enough -- Kristin and Brody cuddled on a couch while Stephanie stared blankly at her birthday cake, wondering what to do with it. But when McKaela entered, the entire party room tensed -- as per the A.D.'s instructions. Brody excused himself for a beverage so that he could watch the two scratch each others' eyes out, but McKaela followed him. When she asked Brody innocently why he was cuddling with his ex, Brody did the only thing he could think of: he exploded at the poor girl, telling her that the entire situation was her fault.
Heartbroken, McKaela spent a few days week leaving unanswered messages for Brody before sitting down with the Kristin to settle the situation, woman to witch. McKaela only managed to whimper a few words about relationships though before Kristin lunged forward, snapped that Brody would never be faithful to anyone and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Point: Kristin.
FAKE: What Ryan Cabrera and Audrina Have is Rare and Special
Let's be honest: The only thing rare and special about the Hills's final season is that Spencer and Heidi have gotten zero airtime over the past three weeks. Sure, that may have been because of a death threat that Spencer made to a crew member who bumped into his crystal collection, but still. That being said, Audrina and Ryan Cabrera's relationship is probably the least special aspect of the final season because 1) No one cares about Ryan Cabrera and 2) Viewers already know that the two have broken up. The relationship is not even rare and special to Audrina, who has already returned to the dark side where Justin Bobby lives with a gang of greasy-haired bikers who charm their way into the hearts of naive Los Angeles girls only to torch all chambers with empty promises of relationships. For another example: See Brody Jenner.