What Do the First 13 Minutes of Jersey Shore Season 2 Reveal?

With less than two months until MTV premieres its second season of Jersey Shore, the network has released a 13-minute sneak peak of the gang's trip down to Miami. As predicted, it involves Pauly D and the Situation fleeing to South Beach with a body in the trunk of their car after a hot tub gangbang gone wrong. OK, no it doesn't, but it does involve spray tans, fireworks and a lot of annoying MTV edits. So if you want to save 13 minutes of your life and still find out what is in store for America's Guidos, click through for Movieline's easy-to-stomach FAQ section.

1. Hey Pauly D, why did MTV move the Jersey Shore to South Beach instead of keeping it at the shore?

"You can't tan in this weather, you can't creep in this weather, you can't do anything. Girls don't come out in this weather, they stay in the house."

2. Snooki, is it true that you found the juiced guido of your dreams?

"I'm done snookin' for love. I found an amazing gorilla juicehead. Me and Emilio have been together for two and a half months."

3. Does that mean that you won't be snookin' for men in South Beach?

"I really don't want to cheat. I really don't want to. Ya know, if you're going to hand me a bottle of frickin' SoCo, something just comes over me. Like I just go crazy."

4. Snooks, how has the ten percent tax on fake tanning affected your day-to-day lifestyle?

"I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a ten percent tax on tanning. And I feel like he did that intentionally for us. McCain would have never put a ten percent tax on tanning because he is pale and he would probably want to be tan."

5. Snickers, when you get down to South Beach, what drink will you order first?

"A frickin' margarita."

6. Snicks, who will be your "b*tch in the house" this season?

"J-Woww."

7. Hey Ronnie, I didn't see you lurking there in the corner. What are your goals for this season?

"Have a good time. Get creepy. Get weird."

8. Um, OK. Vinny, you're really close with your family. What do your uncles want you to get out of the show's second season and how does that differ from what you want?

"They want me to just [go down to Miami] and bang everything. Ya know what I mean? But I kind of want better quality girls."

10. Pauly D, did you really hook up with Angelina?

"[Yeah, I] got a little taste of dat. I was in a club in LA. I was drunk. Angelina was there. She was drunk. We're hooking up. One thing led to another. The next night, it was onto the next one. Angelina who?"

11. Angelina, you were kicked off the first season. How has MTV told you to explain your return to the show?

"I've been talking Pauly D on the phone a lot. I've been talking to Situation on the phone a lot too. They said they were going down to Miami and they basically invited me."

12. Situation, your Cadillac Escalade got stuck in the mud on the way down to Miami. How did that happen?

"[Pauly D and I] found this cornfield to lay off these fireworks and the next thing you know, the car gets stuck in the mud. It's f*cking crazy, dawg."

13. Pauly D, did you at least have triple-A?

"I'm a gold member...I wasn't worried."