You can accuse the MTV Movie Awards of being many things, but a legitimate awards show is certainly not one of them. Never mind the categories -- congratulations to Amanda Seyfried for winning Best Scared as Sh*t Performance; er, what? -- or the fact that MTV felt compelled to nominate Angelina Jolie for the not-yet-released Salt, the two-hour telecast is designed for the express purpose of creating moments. And while nothing on Sunday night topped watching Sacha Baron Cohen teabag Eminen, inappropriateness reigned supreme. Which were the five most egregious examples? Movieline investigates after the jump.
· Tom Cruise as Les Grossman, twice
The pop culture tastes of a core MTV Movie Award watcher -- i.e., a Twilight fanatic -- can be aged in dog years. So something that was hot two summers ago, might as well be from the late '90s. Case in point: Tom Cruise as Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder. Sure it was cool to see him dancing with Jennifer Lopez to Ludacris' "Get Back," but only if viewed from inside a time machine. What year is this again?
· Christina Aguilera's vagina
Between Christina Aguilera and Katy Perry, the MTV Movie Awards were a de facto competition of who could be more like Lady Gaga. And congratulations to Aguilera for beating Perry by a pubic region! At the end of her mish-mash performance, the camera zoomed in to Aguilera's crotch to reveal a heart-shaped strand of lights. Because what else would you put over your ladyparts.
· Kristen Stewart's existence
ArtsBeat has already compiled the "different" looks that Kristen Stewart sported during the telecast last night -- you can subtitle the photo essay "Variations in Boredom" -- but seriously: What was that? Has faux-awkwardness ever seemed so transparent?
· Peter Facinelli's f-bombs
The hallmark of the MTV Movie Awards was cursing. Lots and lots of cursing. And if you were watching the east coast feed live, you got to enjoy hearing Jonah Hill, Puff Daddy and Mark Wahlberg squeeze an array of f-and-s-bombs through the censors. But the piece de resistance was Peter Facinelli. The Twilight star -- who accepted the award New Moon won for Best Film from his doppleganger, Tom Cruise -- used his moment in the spotlight to curse so often that the censors missed at least half of them. Though maybe by that time, they had just zoned out and stopped caring.
· Ken Jeong's speech
At this point, Ken Jeong has reached "ugh, him again?" status. But he might have earned himself a lifetime pass thanks to his speech while accepting the award for Best WTF? Moment. (Just go with it.) After thanking Judd Apatow, the cast of Community and Todd Phillips, Jeong fought back tears while talking about his wife's breast cancer and how she's been cancer-free for two years. What a wonderful and heartfelt moment filled with genuine emotion. What was it doing on the MTV Movie Awards though? Quick, more vagina lights!