Ali Fedotowsky is not just a romantic clone of Project Runway season one contestant Alexandra Vidal. She's a serious navigator traversing the primetime battlefield of love. Or an out-of-luck driver traversing a Los Angeles highway, but we'll get to that in a second. Ali's eliminated a throng of duds thus far on The Bachelorette, but Movieline's now inspecting her five best options left in the competition. The forecast is giirrrrrrl, he fine with a chance of "entertainment wrestling."
Justin
Dreamy!!!!: Trotted out on his crutches to join the sexy calendar shoot. Perseverance! Omg, love works with it! Does nudity fine also. Argued with Craig (R.) about whether he's obligated to share his true profession with the guys. Bad boi.
Sleazy??: When he does share his true profession, you realize Justin's an "entertainment wrestler." We knew that last week, but still, "seriousness wrestlers" are just more attractive.
Jonathan
Dreamy!!!!: Is a weatherman! When he flashes that twisty smile, a warm front floods my chest.
Sleazy??: Spent his one-on-ones with Ali badmouthing Craig M., who he repeatedly called "poison." Couldn't he have just told her, "Look, Craig M. looks and acts like an Adam Sandler movie villain. You don't need another guy nicknamed 'Shooter' in here."
Frank
Dreamy!!!!: Rebounded nicely during his one-on-one date with Ali after their dream car broke down -- they taxied to the Hollywood sign in record time. Clever!
Sleazy??: What a beady-eyed little mouthbreather. He owns a retail store and wants to be a screenwriter. Ali's monotone response? "That's awesome."
Jesse
Dreamy!!!!: Is "skinny tie" hot. Can carry Ali in a pool, sometimes repeatedly in a short time.
Sleazy??: When he and Ali jetted off to Las Vegas for a one-on-one, Jesse could've been more comforting while she hyperventilated in takeoff. He didn't have to nestle his lips in her hair and coo the lyrics to "Father Figure," but he should've stopped beaming in her face.
Roberto
Dreamy!!!!: Added to his "salsa dancer" panache from last week by deciding to be "the guy who brought along a baseball glove" too. Time to play catch, Ali! With destiny, your heart, etc.
Sleazy??: Had the nerve to say, "I'll sit back while the other guys take each other out, and I'll get the girl in the end." Right, Roberto. Because boringness is what wins this thing.