If the idea of spending the afternoon at a barbecue with your family doesn't get you all that excited for Memorial Day, don't worry: Cable television has been kind enough to schedule a day full of crap marathons to allow you an escape. Because why watch the drama unfold in your backyard when you can watch hours and hours of Real Housewives from the comfort of your couch! After the jump, Movieline ranks the marathons.
· NCIS, USA starting at 6 a.m.
Why you'll watch it: The remote control broke and left your TV stuck on USA.
Time wasting potential: Very low. Unless you're Mark Harmon.
· The Stand, SyFy starting at 3 p.m.
Why you'll watch: Remember Lost? This is like that, except with Gary Sinise.
Time wasting potential: Low. The Stand is bleak and dark and post-apocalyptic. The idea of Memorial Day marathons is to get you away from that sort of stuff.
· Bridezillas, WE starting at 10 a.m.
Why you'll watch it: A sneaky thing about brides: They're insane, and thus, hilarious. Though, truthfully, a Say Yes to the Dress marathon -- or even Four Weddings -- would be more fun. Too bad TLC is showing hours of Hoarders. Sigh. Bridezillas it is!
Time wasting potential: Medium. There comes a point though when non-stop wedding watching turns into background din.
· Real Housewives, Bravo starting at 8 a.m.
Why you'll watch: Not only do you get to experience the craziness of Real Housewives of New York until 2 p.m., you get the utter craziness of Real Housewives of New Jersey until 3 in the morning. Plus, there is a new episode of New Jersey at 10. Can you feel the excitement?
Time wasting potential: High. Though if you live in New York or New Jersey, the idea of watching this many consecutive hours of Real Housewives might hit too close to home.
· Jersey Shore, MTV starting at 2 p.m.
Why you'll watch it: Because you revel the stupidity of others.
Time wasting potential: Very high. GTL for life.