Eddie McGee (Season One)
The producers of Big Brother made several miscalculations in its terrible first season, and the worst was the assumption that giving America the right to vote off contestants would make the show more interesting. Instead, America rapidly voted off the s**t-stirrers, blowhards, and sexually aggressive exhibitionists that make reality TV so great, leaving Eddie McGee the only one standing.
Stephanie Izard (Season Four)
Let's be honest: the winners of Top Chef are almost always seething, resentful dicksmacks (and male). In some ways, then, it might be refreshing that Stephanie Izard took home the top prize, but she wasn't that memorable either as a chef or a reality TV presence. It's just a shame that the far more interesting Richard Blais choked in the final challenge.
Chloe Dao (Season Two)
Any winner of Project Runway's second season would have had a hard time following in the footsteps of Season One winner Jay McCarroll, but the fact that Chloe Dao beat out gregarious finalists like Santino Rice and Daniel Vosovic just made her lack of personality all the more obvious. After winning the show, did Chloe move to New York or try to show again at Fashion Week? No: she went back to her boutique store in Texas. Well, OK then.
Brian Heidik (Season Five)
On paper, Brian Heidik could have been an interesting reality show contestant: not only was he a used-car salesman, but he'd dabbled in softcore pornography, a skeleton in his closet usually reserved for contestants on VH1 dating shows. On TV, though, he was a snooze. He won the million dollars, but he was so boring that Survivor's never had him back on, despite its propensity for all-star seasons.
Jen Schefft (Season Three)
If recent seasons of The Bachelor have seemed a little more unhinged, it might have to do with this perfectly adequate, colorless winner. Says our resident Bachelor expert Julie Miller: "Andrew Firestone proposed to her in season 3 -- she was just very nice, from Ohio, no skeletons in her closet. They broke up and she had her own season of The Bachelorette but she ended up not picking any of the bachelors. It was lame town. There were never any bikini shots of her or rumors that she had a boyfriend the whole time they shot." Seriously. Up your game a little bit, ladies.
Drew Lachey (Season Two)
Drew Lachey. Nice guy. Attractive man. Boring as dirt, at least in the cutthroat world of reality TV. He's the sort of guy whose most transgressive acts ever were probably a) shaving his chest and b) watching on episode of South Park on Hulu. Even his Wikipedia is kinda bored of him.
Dawna Stone (Martha Stewart spinoff)
The main Apprentice franchise was running on fumes before it got a celebrity revamp, but the Martha Stewart-toplined spinoff was actually a wonderfully weird, underrated little show. The estrogen-heavy cast was full of total weirdos including idiot cable pundit Leslie Sanchez, psychotic ad exec Jim Bozzini, and soon-to-be Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel, for some reason! A recoiling Martha eventually gave to win to the boring Dawna, just because she was the least embarrassing out of all those people. That may be true, but it wasn't any fun.