Should Lindsay Lohan Pull a Polanski?

A judge in L.A. today issued a warrant for Lindsay Lohan's arrest when the starlet failed to show for a mandatory "DUI progress-report hearing." By now Lohan's excuse is relatively well-known: She was visiting Cannes and, er, her passport was stolen. Her team says she's spent the last few days working with the State Department to get a replacement (the U.S. Embassy in France denies this), while French authorities say she never even reported the original stolen in the first place. As a result of the warrant, says the U.S. Customs Agency, Lohan will be arrested when attempting to reenter the country. Which of course raises the question: Why even bother coming home?

After all, I think we all know the precedent here for celebrity fugitives. Taking after Roman Polanski, Lohan could settle in France for a while, restoring herself and her career away from the bad influences and ghosts of the States -- and out of reach of the authorities. The obvious catch here is Lohan's U.S. citizenship -- France refused to extradite Polanski for three decades because they don't ship off their own citizens. There's also the universal awareness that the 23-year old isn't exactly a shimmering beacons of talent, class and grace (at least not any more) you want hanging around your country indefinitely. In any language, "La Lohan" is synonymous with "pitiful trainwreck."

But! If France gave Lohan some sort of amnesty -- or even a dual citizenship -- we might conceivably have a situation where America and France have something that the other wants. Sure, Roman Polanski for Lindsay Lohan may not look like a fair trade on paper. But what kind of statement would it send if the Los Angeles D.A. left an actual American fugitive to live conditionally free in Paris while attempting to extradite a 76-year-old French citizen who'll probably get off anyway? Who really needs the "lesson" here? By all appearances, Lindsay Lohan is a party girl who thinks she can get away with driving drunk and standing up judges. Roman Polanski is a child rapist who did jail time and whose own victim wants him left alone. (And yes, who also thinks he can get away with standing up judges.)

Anyway, you can see why I never went into international diplomacy. Still, if France really wants its fugitive son back sooner than later, I can think of lesser reasons to roll out a lonnnng welcome mat for its new guest.

· Judge Issues Warrant for Lindsay Lohan's Arrest [PopEater]