I'm sad. Sure. But I also want to hold up my old Illinois driver's license with Norma Rae grit and proclaim, "Take that, American South!" For only the second time in American Idol's history, its Final Two has no connections to the dusty south. That's not good or bad, but it's a welcome change of pace. (No offense to Kris Allen -- I voted for you, tender dawg!) Now, to attend to the business at hand: Our deceased pony Casey James enjoyed a resilient run, establishing himself as season nine's resident dark horse. His proudest moments involved simple ballads, sincerity, and keeping his shirt on. Let's reflect on the Cool, Texas, native's curvy, paisley-print journey on American Idol and guess what might've been had he made the finale.
Legacy: Casey was Idol's good-natured axeman with a spirit fulla blues and hair the color of Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. He's an authentic rocker with a hint of Nabisco magic -- an Idol dream contestant, namean? Also, that sad lady from the judging panel made him strip during the auditions for no good reason. Koo-koo-ca-choo, Mrs. DioGuardi. Our nation turns its lonely gun on itself.
We Will Miss Most: His take on "Jealous Guy." How his bronze complexion and scraggy mane rendered him a literal dark horse. How fly it is that he outlasted Michael Lynche. How Simon begrudgingly called him Goldilocks once. Our now-missed chance to buy his 19 Entertainment debut disc Hot Licks from Cool, Texas.
What Could've Been: An amplified retooling of "Jealous Guy" during the final two. Simon Fuller's choice of either "Dream On" or "Blowin' in the Wind" or a cut from Constantine Maroulis' little-heard rockabilly triple-album. Kara DioGuardi's new coronation song, a sympathetic rewrite on "No Boundaries" called, "Only A Few Limits in the Vocal Range, But Good Otherwise."
Closing Remarks: Casey, you gave us angst, smiles, blue jeans, and Long John Silver's regulation ponytails in equal measure. You could've run away with the whole thing had Simon and his cronies not selected Lee to shill like a miracle weight-loss salve. You were country without being cloying, and real without being really boring. And thanks to a poll I just conducted with a random sampling of Movieline writers named Louis, I can confirm that everyone likes you better than last year's third-place contestant -- if you'd still call him a "contestant" and not a "gyrating earsore." Yeah, right.
Farewell and good show, sir!