Ever since Schue & the Gang returned to Fox last month, Glee's formula has been a little off. Storylines worthy of an afterschool special have come and gone, rarely continuing from one episode to the next. Least memorably: Mercedes went on a diet, Kurt tried to butch up for his father and everyone got empowered through Madonna. Even the first-string romantic arcs (Schue and Emma, Finn and Rachel) have been backburnered for dead-end flirtations (Finn's mom and Kurt's dad).
Good news, though: guest director Joss Whedon ushered the show back into its heartstring-tugging, foot-tapping wheelhouse with last night's episode, "Dream On." It had big reveals, bigger emotions, and no one was dressed up like a hamburger. So grab your Trapper Keepers, get the notes on last night's episode, and remember, there will be a pop quiz.
No wonder Neil Patrick Harris jumped at the chance to appear on Glee -- the writers designed a character with an amazing backstory for him. Bryan Ryan is Schue's former glee club foe, a New Directions alum who tagged all the ladies and bagged all the solos in his high school days. After graduating, Bryan Ryan toured on a cruise ship, fell deep into crack addiction, and threw away his disappointing theatrical aspirations in favor of a Hummer dealership, a wife named Wilma and a a gig on the school board.
Embittered about his lost dreams, Bryan Ryan was determined to shut down the New Directions until Schue plied him with a beer and a little impromptu, happy hour karaoke. Reinspired, Bryan Ryan tried out for the lead in Les Miserables and distributed bedazzled jean jackets (which will hopefully be available on Fox's merchandise website soon) to Schue's kids.
Meanwhile, Artie struggled with his paralysis -- briefly gaining hope that he would one day be able to swagger and white-man rap alongside Schue -- before Miss Pillsbury stepped in to stomp his dreams. Meanwhile, Jesse St. James returned (without his hamburger costume) to help Rachel find her mother, who viewers discovered is Rachel's Broadway doppelgänger Idina Menzel. Now, onto the best and worst parts...
HIGH NOTES
· A Kath & Kim reunion between Molly Shannon and John Michael Higgins during the show tunes support group
· Artie getting out of his wheelchair to do the "Safety Dance" in a shopping mall flash mob scene (although the handheld camera was a little strange)
· Flashback Schue with braces and a bad haircut
· The mother-daughter "I Dreamed a Dream" duet between Rachel and her biological mother
· "Dream a Little Dream of Me," sung by Artie, featuring tap dancing by Tina and Other Asian
LOW NOTES
· Schue and Bryan Ryan's singing over Billy Joel in their impromptu "Piano Man" jam.
GLEESARY
Dream: (n.) - "Something that fills up the emptiness inside. Something that if you know it came true, all of the hurt would go away." (Credit: Jesse St. James)
Tap Wheels: (n.) - Taps that go on a wheel chair to simulate tap dancing. According to Artie, these "suck" and make him sound like "someone put tap shoes on a horse and then shot it."
Rachel Berry Museum: (n.) - The collection of every piece of paper related to Rachel's life that her gay fathers keep in her basement.
Sue's Secret Room: (n.) A special place Sue keeps above her McKinley High office for daytime affairs. When Bryan Ryan asks if he should lock the door so the pair can have "anger sex," Sue replies, "No, got a secret room upstairs. Like Letterman."
POP QUIZ
1. Which of the following is not the dream of a glee club member?
a) Be a big star.
b) Not have stretch marks.
c) Have threesome.
d) Be the center square.
2. Who does Rachel Berry incorrectly believe is her birth mother?
a) Bernadette Peters
b) Patti LuPone
c) Barbra Streisand
d) Christine Ebersole
3. Which of the following Broadway plays does Rachel Berry have no aspirations to star in?
a) Evita
b) Chicago
c) Oklahoma!
d) Funny Girl
7. What does Bryan Ryan keep hidden away in his basement?
a) Hummer keys and porn
b) A signed photo of Norbert Leo Butz
c) A box of playbills.
d) His unfulfilled dreams.
5. How many lines did Mercedes have in this episode?
a) 0
b) 1
c) 2
d) 3
6. How many lines did Kurt have in this episode?
a) 0
b) 1
c) 2
d) 3
7. 5. How many lines did Finn, Santana and Brittany have combined in this episode?
a) 0
b) 1
c) 2
d) 3
Answers: 1) d 2) b 3) b 4) c 5) a 6) a 7) a