The American Idol audience is getting a hold on this "Vote out the right contestant, please" idea. Two weeks in a row, we've watched the correct troubadour saunter back to an awaiting womb -- last week jiving fetus Aaron Kelly crawled back into the one he calls home, and and this week Michael Lynche was forced to acknowledge his wife and their newborn. Tough luck. After the jump, we reflect on Michael Lynche's legacy with a fast funeral where Kara DioGuardi's tears don't seem as embarrassing.
Legacy: Mike used the Judges' Save to win an extra five weeks in the competition. I call this time period "The Worst Month." He made Kara DioGuardi cry with "This Woman's Work," and not because he wouldn't take off his shirt. He's got just the right amount of soul for a cabaret-themed Jell-O Jigglers commercial. His kid was born on speakerphone during Hollywood Week. His wife's celebrity cervix is still in the running to be the American Idol.
We Will Miss Most: The times he muzzled that falsetto and just sang the damn song. His "In the Ghetto" and "Hero" are two of the only great male performances this season. He also bench-pressed Aaron Kelly one time, resulting in birth goo on his suspenders. Don't underestimate wee Fetus the Magnificent -- he sly.
What Could've Been: A hometown trek to St. Petersburg, Florida where he receives the key to the city and Kara DioGuardi's official message to sing "The phone book, baby, you got it - Mad Love, K" during Top 3 week. His Top 2 performances of "(Untitled) How Does It Feel," "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay," and a world-exclusive Peabo Bryson track. More of his signature zest -- that "tang" that usually makes you say, "Who put handfuls of ketchup on this burger? I have diabetes now."
Closing Remarks: Big Mike, you utilized the Judges' Save successfully. You outlasted lesser talents like Katie Stevens, Tim Urban, and Andrew Garcia. But you also outlasted Siobhan Magnus, and for that I say, "Good DAY," and "Don't show yer mug 'round our Coke auditorium again, you hear?"