Only 72 hours after Betty White whipped Saturday Night Live into the best shape of its season, the Internet is already campaigning for the Golden Girl to host another historic television institution: the Oscars. But what Betty's Facebook foot soldiers don't understand is that her charisma, naughty one-liners and white-hot fan appeal could better energize some of the industry's other tired award shows. Here are Movieline's five pitches.
AVN Awards Show (January)
Betty is know for balancing the sweetness of your favorite grandmother with the raunchy humor of your least favorite uncle, and those chops will serve her well as she delivers bon mots to a crowd of adult film stars in Las Vegas.
Sample Patter: "I feel a little uncomfortable here, but I can't be totally modest about my history in adult film. I was still an unknown actress until Woodrow Wilson and I made that sex zoetrope."
NAACP Image Awards (February)
It's easy to see Betty White following in the tradition of previous hosts Chris Tucker, Cedric the Entertainer, and Hill Harper as the NAACP again honors artistic achievements by individuals of color.
Sample Patter: "Good to see many of the leaders of the black entertainment community here. I don't want to give away my age, but I once hooked up with Frederick Douglass."
Teen Choice Awards (August)
While Betty might not be able to hand every teen in the viewing audience an old greeting card with a personal check for the amount of their age plus one, her cross-generational, cross-millennial, cross-geologic-era street cred will have the kids tweeting and retweeting her one-liners:
Sample Patter: "Being a teenager is scary these days. You just have to worry about online privacy and what kind of apps you want for your iPhone. When I was thirteen, my only concern was avoiding Genghis Khan's advancing hordes."
Country Music Awards (November)
The world of country music might be undergoing a youth movement with Taylor Swift and Lady Antebellum tearing up the charts, but Betty is more than a little bit country.
Sample Patter: "Someone told me that Americans who live West of the Mississippi River do not understand country music. To which I say, 'Since when does America extend past the Mississippi?'"
Nobel Prize Award Ceremonies (December)
Everyone loves Betty White -- even Nobel laureates, who would be pleased to receive a good-natured ribbing from a Golden Girl in addition to their gold medal.
Sample Patter: "I once came close to winning a Nobel prize. That's right. It was in 1903, and then that two-bit slut Marie Curie edged me out of the race."