Summer's around the bend, which means reality competitions clog the listings like Dilbert calendars on a clearance shelf after Jan. 1. With so many new and returning programs jammed into the idiot box, the line between watchable and disposable blurs quickly. And what to make of all these personnel changes? Mary Murphy's been demoted on So You Think You Can Dance?, while Craig Robinson and Mel B. take over on renewed series. Stressful! Join us as Movieline gives a "Yay or Nay" vote to eight different series coming up in the next few weeks.
The Bachelorette: ABC, May 24
Ali Fedotowsky returns to host The Bachelorette's sixth season. I think The Bachelorette always trumps The Bachelor. Heartbroken men are inherently... funnier.
Yay or Nay: Yay. Fedotowsky's got more life in her than the last Bachelor Jake Pavelka -- though I question her ability to bawl and hyperventilate if kicked off of Dancing with the Stars.
So You Think You Can Dance: Fox, May 27
As Mary Murphy is demoted to a guest-judge/choreographer and Mia Michaels escalates to fulltime panelist, will our beloved ballerina factory be the same?
Yay or Nay: Yay. Mary's 'hot tamale train' may be making fewer stops on SYTYCD, but it's got enough steam for my attention thus far.
True Beauty: ABC, May 31
Mysteriously renewed for a second season, True Beauty pits contestants who wrongfully think they're in a beauty contest. Producers use hidden-camera footage to judge the inner beauty of each competitor and declare an "inside-and-outside" beauty champion.
Yay or Nay: Nay. Why can't we have shallow beauty contests anymore? Anyone remember Are You Hot?. Why isn't "I'd have to give you an... eight? For your face?" a classic TV quote.
America's Got Talent: NBC, June 1
Howie Mandel will take David Hasselhoff's spot on the panel alongside Sharon Osbourne and Piers Morgan. I think we can count on Howie dishing the tough love -- and topping each elimination with the iciest fist-bump of all.
Yay or Nay: Nay. Circus freaks and singing toddlers? I'm seated next to those people on airplanes every time. No dice.
Hell's Kitchen: Fox, June 1
Gordon Ramsay's back for season seven. Quality control, speed, respectful sous-chef behavior, and deliciousness will be evaluated amid British caterwauls.
Yay or Nay: Yay. Hell's Kitchen has seen better days, but Gordon Ramsay is ineffable.
Last Comic Standing: NBC, June 7
Last Comic Standing's had a rough go if it in the ratings -- and within its own judging panel. Though Drew Carey declared the show fraudulent, it's back for more -- and hopefully win some combatants funnier than most of the show's previous winners.
Yay or Nay: Nay. I can't even say the words "Dat Phan" out loud.
Dance Your Ass Off: Oxygen, June 7
Spice Girl Mel B.'s kicking butts into rhythm in the weight-loss show's second season. I like to call it So You Think You Can Dwindle?.
Yay or Nay: Yay. Excuse me: "Girl power" is leading the brigade. She already dazzled us with a mildly inappropriate judging stint on Bravo's Step It Up and Dance. Can't wait to find out who's "not black enough" this season!
Work of Art: Bravo, June 9
Sarah Jessica Parker's long-awaited reality show about competing artists is finally coming to light! Now -- who wants to see watercolorists face off against oil painters? You're not sure? Okay.
Yay or Nay: Yay. The judging criteria has to be insane -- unless this is just a glorified Top Design. Jonathan Adler, you could've been so much more.