Celebrity Apprentice, as the title suggests, is about discipline, work ethic, and being famous -- or at least famous enough to appear as a humiliated panelist on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Bravo show. That kind of famous. During last night's challenge, as the six remaining competitors painted two apartments using "celebrity" styling, five moments of unprofessional behavior broke out, tarnishing the spotless Trump name. We captured those moments -- and after viewing the pics, you won't feel like barking background vocals on Cyndi Lauper's True Colors tour anymore.
1. Donald Trump's Apartment is... Disgusting!
I mean, of course Donald Trump's "apartment" looks like the inside of a winning Wonka Bar. Sure. But some of these furnishings can't go unchecked. The fresco ceilings, marble everythings, and gold beams made me wonder if Louis XIV was going to dance out on roller skates dressed like Foxxy Cleopatra. Or maybe this is the set of an updated version of Trump Card?
2. Don Trump Jr. Can't Read His Damn Lines
Don Trump Jr., with his pseudo-Trump, more-like-Gavin Newsom hairdo, botched his lines at the start of the show. He had about two sentences to say, so his failure loomed larger than the ceiling fresco of Melania's first New Kids on the Block concert. The Donald joked, "He'll never be his father!" Nervous laughter filled the room, and Little Don channeled his tears into a wobbly smirk.
3. Maria Kanellis Sells Out Her Teammates -- Again!
For being a two-faced competitor with little to offer in the realms of ideas, decency, or help, Maria's made it a long way. Her spiel about Curtis Stone's manipulative smugness was the night's biggest hypocrisy -- here, she makes it very clear to the visiting judge that she disagrees with her team's direction. She admitted it to the cameras too. Then she went back to wearing Guess Jeans from 2002 while my world disapproved loudly.
4. Jonathan Adler, This is No Time to Reboot Top Design
The eminently likable designer Jonathan Adler guest-judged the challenge, and his criticisms ["The celebrity room fell a little flat for me!"] were plucked straight from his old judging gig on Bravo's Top Design. It made me miss that show's potential. As Adler sat there in a baby-blue collared shirt, I yearned for the days of his brilliant violet sweaters and repartee with wack-haired editor Kelly Wearstler.
5. Cyndi Steals Her Competitor's Sassiest Phrase
Cyndi already botched a reality TV cliche when she muttered, "You're throwing me under the truck" to Summer Sanders. Last night, she lifted another famous catchphrase from teammate Sharon Osbourne. After assaulting team leader Holly Robinson Peete with insults, she concluded with the word, "Missus!" Oh, no. That is Sharon's anachronism, Cyndi. In my mind, that deed did her in -- Cyndi was eliminated, and Trump retreated to his Versailles in the sky.