I might have had to drag them out of line for Iron Man 2, but grudgingly or not, the Say Whaaaa? Singers are here to serenade you with their dulcet tones of bafflement, confusion, amazement and general disbelief over the week's most bizarre news. Let's make this quick -- the You've Gotta Be Sh*tting Me Crooners are saving a couple seats for them on the aisle.
5. Hollywood Walk of FAIL
Yay! Julia Louis-Dreyfus received a star on the Walk of Fame! Oh, wait -- sorry. That was Julia Luis Dreyfus who earned a star. Say whaaaa? To the actress's credit, she laughed and wanted to preserve the error. The rest of the world rolled its eyes and seethed privately that this would never happen to Jason Alejandro.
4. Fun With Waterboarding
Katee Sackhoff would die for 24. Well, maybe not "die." But "inhale a bunch of water for the sake of torture verisimilitude"? That's more like it. "I was excited to do it because I've never been waterboarded, and I thought it would really be kind of fun," Sackhoff told Movieline. "There was one time where I actually breathed in and I thought I was gonna die." Say whaaaa? And just like that, our Guantanamo Bay readership spikes.
3. NSFWeinstein
Now we know: When Harvey Weinstein attempted to diversify his business with social media and fashion, they were just set-up moves for his endgame masterstroke: Wild Wild Girls, a fake porn site established to virally promote Piranha 3-D. Say whaaaa? Oh, please, leave him alone. Is there really any difference between this and Kate Winslet stripping her way to an Oscar in The Reader? At least these chicks aren't playing Nazis.
2. Roman Polanski Needs to Get Something Off His Chest
The house-arrested filmmaker must presume he's coming back to the States for the sentencing he skipped out on 32 years ago. Why else would he attempt to get his money's worth with a public statement condemning the American tormentors who want him "on a platter"? "This affair was roused from its slumbers of over three decades by a documentary film-maker who gathered evidence from persons involved at the time," Polanski wrote, later adding: "The new District Attorney, who is handling this case and has requested my extradition, is himself campaigning for election and needs media publicity!" Say whaaaa? It's been years! Can't a fugitive child rapist just go about his life? Sheesh!
1. Elisabeth Hassleback, Always Making Friends
There's only one appropriate reaction to stalking/peephole victim Erin Andrews's successful primetime comeback on Dancing With the Stars. Of course, Elisabeth Hasselbeck did not deliver it on The View:
Say whaaaa? Ms. Andrews will accept your apology now. Hell, all of us will accept your apology.