5 Haiku Inspired by the Brand-New Eclipse Trailer
When you're a 30-something straight dude who's already said pretty much everything he can say about The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and a new trailer avails itself to the world on Friday afternoon, there's really only one rational way to approach it: Through the contemplative medium of poetry, seventeen syllables at a time.
· Edward I get, but
what is Joan Jett doing here?
No abs to be found.
· Shapeshifters versus
an army of vampires --
the CGI stink.
· Dakota Fanning,
please tell me you have more lines
than just, "Yes, it is."
· Can this film earn back
its huge contact-lens budget
opening weekend?
· Listen carefully!
You can hear the squeeeee from here.
VERDICT: Matters not.
[via Moviefone]
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Look at the bright side
When this movie hits the screens,
No crowds at the malls.
The sequal begs
Harry Potter vs. the Voltari
Mere mortals quail
Why is he so pale?
There's no sun in the closet.
Sparkly mosquito
This is not Haiku.
Synchronized hood removal!
Wait, though--yes it is.
Haiku, Haiku, Haiku,
Where are you?
Edward and Jacob make-out!
The epic romance
Of Sparkles and Bella
Missing from trailer
HOLA COMO ESTAS AMIGA