Today's release of the Sex and the City: 2 Ferragamo 2 Fabulous trailer is something of a holiday at Movieline HQ, with the giddy sounds of being reunited with our favorite cinematic BFFs nearly drowned out by clinking champagne flutes and the delighted squeals of fashion-obsessed editors given 30 seconds of heaven in New Line's promotional All The Choos You Can Hold In Your Greedy Little Arms Closet. (The first installment grossed $415 million worldwide; they're really not screwing around this time.) And while we've already slapped a SOLD! verdict on this first two minutes of teaser footage, our excitement demands a deeper level of engagement with the trailer: its mysteries must be pondered, its myriad delights cataloged in painstaking detail. After the jump, we break it down by the numbers, hoping to better understand exactly what's in store for us on May 27.
· Number of sparkling, crystal-encrusted title cards hinting at the vicarious luxury that awaits us at the multiplex: 10
· Number of overplayed (but still irresistible) pop songs whose geographical refrains remind you how inextricably linked the SATC phenomenon is to the perceived glamour of New York City: 1
· Number of sweeping, aerial establishing shots of New York architectural porn: 4
· Number of Wizard of Oz references also used by Avatar: 1
· Number of years elapsed since the last movie (in both movie and real time): 2
· Number of engraved anniversary gifts featuring grammatically suspect inscriptions: 1
· Number of science-fair ribbons won by grade-school gingers: 1
· Number of messy handprints left on the white skirts of harried -- but fashionable! -- mothers by adorable adopted children: 2
· Number of anti-aging pills/vitamins consumed daily by Samantha in effort to keep herself in tip-top shape for an eternity of sexual promiscuity: 19
· Number of vague jokes referencing Samantha's prodigious swallowing and/or pill-gobbling ability: 1
· Number of bed posts slamming into walls to denote strenuous sexual activity of a couple clinging to their carnality while struggling with the "baby issue": 2 (1 on-screen, 1 presumably off-screen)
· Number of post-coital, designer brassieres worn by Sarah Jessica Parker after a vigorous Big-diddling in compliance with an ironclad no-nudity contract rider: 1
· Number of Liza Minellis: 2 (1 authentic Liza, 1 stunt-Liza for shots requiring physical activity)
· Number of cameos by Oscar-winning actresses of Spanish extraction: 1
· Number of opulent Middle Eastern capitals visited, with all expenses paid for reasons not immediately clear, to facilitate fish-out-of-water storyline necessitated by boredom with a shopped-out New York City: 1
· Number of camels ridden: 2
· Number of camel-handlers patiently enduring the obvious hot flash jokes of pre-menopausal American tourists: 4
· Number of champagne flutes held by boozing protagonists: 4
· Number of Speedo-clad beefcakes hooting at vacationing middle-aged ladies for some reason: 9
· Number of shots of jeeps careening over sand dunes: 2
· Number featured prominently on the front of SJP's $500 T-shirt: 8
· Number of ex-boyfriends serendipitously encountered at a bazaar halfway around the world to complicate too-comfortable marriages straining under the depressing weight of familiarity: 1
· Number of martini glasses clinked by wealthy mothers bonding over the crushing demands of parenthood: 2
· Number of spiked, post-apocalyptic-couture shoulder pads worn to attract any wealthy Arab Mad Max fetishists wandering through an Abu Dhabi nightclub: 2
· Number of phones chattered into worriedly as a fragile couple, separated by thousands of miles and a growing emotional distance that they can no longer just ignore because they somehow managed to overcome a complicated personal history to finally commit to one another, attempt to work through whatever crisis was precipitated by a reunion with the aforementioned former partner in an exotic place so far-flung their chance meeting is obviously an act of romantic Fate: 4
· Number of domestic dollars that will be earned on Memorial Day weekend opening as women starved for some quality time with favorite gals flood into their local multiplex: 75 million