50 Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch the New Sex and the City 2 Trailer
Who's ready for the new Sex and the City 2 trailer, which plunks Carrie Bradshaw and company right where you knew their destinies would always take them: Abu... Dhabi? What? Forget it. Sometimes you just know when something stinks, and I would sooner tattoo my eyelids than watch this effing thing. In fact, I can think of a million other things I would do before I watched a frame of this garish, overextended, ovary-tickling twaddle. For starters:
1. Babysit Sarah Palin's children
2. Inherit the killer-whale show at Sea World
3. Suck the hairspray out of Donald Trump's comb-over
4. Competitively eat, like, anything
5. Lose my mobile phone
6. Vacation at Abu Ghraib
7. Live on the Staten Island Ferry for 30 days
8. Have my own humiliating Family Feud category
9. Sit on my glasses -- naked
10. Spend an hour in a sleeping bag with Glenn Beck
11. Dispose of the biohazard waste in Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon's office
12. Gulp every last pill in Liza Minnelli's medicine cabinet
13. Marry Dennis Hopper's ex-wife
14. Lose my Social Security card
15. Pogo-stick across the 405
16. Move to Kyrgyzstan
17. Wingwalk
18. Eat a 48-oz. breast-milk cheeseburger
19. Re-watch this year's Oscars
20. Listen to the entirety of Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music -- on headphones
21. Sleep on a bed of used NFL jock straps
22. Convert The Godfather to 3D
23. Lick George Lucas's wattle
24. Lose my wallet
25. Change the oil in each of Jay Leno's cars
26. Direct Breaking Dawn
27. Chew the head off Iron Man 2's evil cockatoo
28. Handwrite all of the dialogue to every Police Academy movie, up to and including Michael Winslow's voice-sound effects
29. Adopt a Gosselin
30. Own MGM
31. Smoke a menthol cigarette through an asbestos filter
32. Clean up after all of Sharon Osbourne's dogs
33. Clean up after Ozzy Osbourne
34. Lose my iPod
35. Be stranded in outer space
36. Tumble down a flight of stairs
37. Cancel baseball season
38. Yodel the Bible
39. Appear in drag on Chatroulette
40. Dethorn the entire White House rose garden with my teeth
41. Raise pigeons
42. Stare into an atomic explosion
43. Convert to Scientology
44. Lose my house keys
45. Perform a bris
46. Reunite Color Me Badd
47. File for bankruptcy
48. Sequelize The Runaways
49. Wash, dry and detail all the taxi cabs in New York
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Comments
Hahahahaha....probably one of the greatest things I've EVER read...good times...really made me giggle...just saying...hilarious. HATE Sex In The City...good times
lol i never seen ether movies but would have to agree with the list it is one of the funniest thing i read in a long time
I truly love films I couldn't really live without...
I can't believe he just gives out his methods to people! http://tinyurl. com/3yrh3qo
I'd rather superglue my bumhole up....
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