The Bravermans returned for more rowdy dinners, paternity conflicts and suburban growing pains last night in the latest edition of Parenthood, vaguely titled "The Situation." Only one character was noticeably absent from the clan's yippy commune -- the Braverman patriarch (Craig T. Nelson playing every character that Craig T. Nelson has ever played), who just last week barged in on his grandson in the bathroom to discuss masturbation rituals. Regardless of Coach's mysterious absence, the Braverman clan found themselves mixed up in a few new ridiculous family situations that Movieline bravely recounts after the jump.
1. When Your Rebellious Teenage Daughter Plagiarizes an Old Sound & Fury Paper of Yours, You Try to Turn Her In, Only to Realize That Her 26-Year-Old English Teacher is Totally Dreamy and Believes in the Paper's Author (You!)
Another day, another weird confrontation that devolves into inappropriate flirting for Sarah (Lauren Graham), who hit it off with Amber's (Mae Whitman) goateed teach Mr. Cyr (Jason Ritter). As viewers know, Sarah is prone to days of abysmally low self-esteem, thanks in part to a divorce from a session musician and the fact that her college-less education led her to become a career bartender. When Mr. Cyr reveals that he has great hopes for the future of the aforementioned paper's author, Sarah swoons and invites him over to her bar later that night. Stay tuned for next week, when Sarah learns that Amber is also crushing on Mr. Cyr and must decide whether to risk her relationship with her unappreciative daughter for the encouragement she never had.
2. Your Sister Places Unfair Expectations on You After You Take Her Son to Play Catch Once
In this case, the guilty sister is again Sarah (Lauren Graham), who in no uncertain terms, tells her brother Adam (Peter Krause) that if he ever disappoints her teenage son Drew (Miles Heizer) again, she will mow him down with the family stationwagon. It doesn't matter if Adam is dealing with his own Asperger's-afflicted son (Max Burkholder) or the son's irrational frozen-yogurt cravings. By the way, couldn't Adam have just invited Drew to get frozen yogurt too, sparing viewers of this entire non-conflict?
3. You Have to Decide Between Getting a Paternity Test For the Son You Just Found Out You Had or Actually Have a Relationship with the Son
It doesn't make much sense, but this was the situation Crosby (Dax Shepard) faced in last night's episode when his ex (Joy Bryant) revokes weekend zoo privileges from Crosby after he innocently asks for a paternity test so that he can figure out what legal obligations he owes to Jabbar (Tyree Brown), the probable son-in-question. Even though Crosby has Jabbar's toothbrush in his possession and could easily use the remaining DNA to confirm his family's doubts, he foolishly returns the toothbrush back to his ex, risking a Huge Mess in the future.
4. You Hate Your Daughter's Boyfriend (Who Disrespectfully Addresses All of the Adults in Your Family By Their First Names) and Refuse to Feign Sadness When the Couple Breaks Up Over a Disastrous Love Actually Screening
Adam (Peter Krause) has his hands f*cking full already, guys. The sister placing inappropriate expectations on him, the Asperger's-afflicted son who was expelled after slaughtering his class's pets and now the completely responsible daughter (well, aside from that one innocent pot bust) with a clean-cut boyfriend are threatening what is left of your sanity. Adam deals with this situation by disrupting the couple's cuddle time ("I think my baseball is actually under this seat cushion. Right, the one you two are sharing.") When the couple finally breaks up over Love Actually (he thought it was "lame," Haddie thought it was "totally romantic"), Adam proclaims the moment the "best of his life" and incurs the silent treatment of his wife (Monica Potter).