Dancing with the Stars's triumphs and trips last night weren't startling or even unexpected -- but the glitter-caked proceedings focused our attention disorder nonetheless. After the jump, we rack up the night's biggest number, lowest marks, and the haughtiest standoff since Tom Bergeron refused to let Bruce Vilanch sit in Whoopi's square for even a second.
The Good Moves
Shockingly, trained dancer Nicole Scherzinger took to the jive like a Brian Setzer-addicted Gap spokesman. Her Josephine Baker fringe tossed in the wind, and her partner Derek Hough added vaudeville flair (which Len hated on sight). The two garnered the first two "10" marks of the season, and Nicole didn't have to perform an emotional waltz to a slowed-down, string-accompanied version of "Don't Cha." A revelation.
The Bad Footwork
80-year-old Buzz Aldrin is only four more performances from catching up to Scherzinger's whopping 53 point total. After garnering a 14 last week, the retired astronaut racked up a 12 last night. More importantly, we garnered a chance to see his devoted wife Lois, who looks like a subtle hybrid of Gena Rowlands and a griffin.
The Ugly Form
The Dancing with the Stars Reputation Rectification Academy is officially withholding a diploma from Kate Gosselin, who fought with partner Tony Dovolani during rehearsals and compelled him to consider giving up his breathable tank top forever. They made up, but Kate never recovered the tabloid showmanship that made her recent divorce so special for us.