When Matt Damon agreed to accept a lifetime achievement award from the American Cinematheque at the ripe old age of 39, he must have known that the ceremony honoring him would look more like a roast then a respectful fete. That's exactly what went down yesterday night, as a cavalcade of stars (sans drunk Aunt Julia, sadly) took to the stage to poke fun at Damon's age and more embarrassing flops. Here are five of the best zings:
· "We seem to have the uncanny ability to make movies about topics that audiences find irresistible," said Greg Kinnear, who costarred with Damon in the underperformers Stuck on You and Green Zone. "We are now in pre-production on a three-and-a-half hour psychological drama about health care."
· "In 2000 Matt and I starred in The Legend of Bagger Vance along with Will Smith, the only Will Smith movie that didn't make like a gagillion, million dollars," Charlize Theron said, again poking fun at Damon's non-Bourne resume. "I reunited with Will in Hancock, which did great. So I guess it's you, Matt."
· Snarked Ben Affleck: "Matt always said to me, 'Ben, there are two things that are more important to me than anything else in this world.' Folks: fame, money. You did it, Matty! You got there!" He also anticipated Damon's upcoming Steven Soderbergh film Liberace, affecting the voice of Damon's father: "Terrific Matt. I can't wait to see you up there blowing Michael Douglas under a piano while he's playing 'Stardust.'"
· "Ben is half of one of the greatest love stories ever told," said Jennifer Garner, before adding, "Not with me...Here's proof that love is alive and well in Hollywood. At least for my darling husband and my husband's darling husband."
· Finally, Damon got his own chance to zing: "I can honestly say that next year, at this time, Ben could be here presenting this award to someone else. I hear there's a lot of buzz about Vanessa Hudgens."
Stars Tease Matt Damon for Bad Breath, Hair Plugs [People]
Fellow actors transform Matt Damon's award into roast [USA Today]