Who's that famous, finger-mangled runner who placed #5825 at this weekend's Los Angeles Marathon? Why, it's Transformers star Shia LaBeouf, who finished the race with a time of 4 hours and 35 minutes. Naturally, the important context to evaluate that time is examining which other celebrity runners he beat (and more importantly, which stars beat him).
Let's start with the good news, shall we? Shia may be an unconventional leading man, but he beat a fleet of celebrity hunks who've competed in other marathons, including Mario Lopez (5:41), Freddie Prinze Jr (5:50), and ex-JAG star David James Elliott (4:57). He also triumphed over Katie Holmes (5:29), who clearly needed to shrug off a few more heavy thetans before competing.
Now, the bad news. Sure, we might expect a hardbody like Ryan Reynolds (3:50) to beat Shia, or even Edward Norton (3:50:22) after a significant amount of prep, but Anthony Edwards (3:55:40) and Will Ferrell (3:56:12)? Does Will Ferrell even own an ab?
It gets worse. Guess who ran a 4:08 back in 1982? Meredith freakin' Baxter from Family Ties.
Twelve years later, Oprah Winfrey managed a 4:29:20 at the Marine Corps Marathon.
Now, I'm not saying that Shia isn't a fast runner -- in fact, competing in the marathon at any time is an impressive feat. I'm just saying that he could stand to have the fear of Decepticons put in him a little bit, lest he find his top placement on the Transformers 3 call sheet supplanted by a surprisingly spry Frances McDormand.
25 Celebrities Who've Run a Marathon [Complete Running]