Just face it, ABC is totally onto something with their live figure skating competition in which professionals shred the ice for the chance to win cash for their favorite charity: themselves. And by adding pop music, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and a voting system for viewers at home....psssshh, who needs the Olympics? If ABC's Thin Ice (which airs tonight and Sunday) is successful, we can surely look forward to the Disney network adding popular votes to other Winter Sports. America's Next Top Luger, anyone?
Thin Ice [8 PM, ABC]
If we had to pick one woman from The View to host tonight's ABC figure skating competition, it would probably be Whoopi Goldberg. And if she wasn't available, we'd probably choose Sherri Shepherd next, followed by Joy Behar. If those two had previous engagements then we'd probably prefer watching dead air than Elisabeth Hasselbeck, but you can't get everything you wish for. So, enjoy as the youngest View personality feigns understanding of the winter sport while her co-host, figure skater Kurt Browning, brings some credibility to the show.
Caprica [9 PM, Syfy]
Syfy executives may be trying to put a positive spin on the modestly-performing Caprica by continually citing the impressive DVR numbers, but DVR viewers don't renew shows. So call up your friends and encourage them to watch the Battlestar spinoff tonight, in which Daniel wages psychological warfare get rid of Zoe (Alessandra Torresani) after realizing that her avatar is hiding in the Cyclon. Meanwhile, Joseph (Esai Morales) explores a New Cap City nightclub in search of Tamara (Genevieve Buechner) and Vergis (John Pyper-Ferguson) attempts to distance Amanda (Paula Malcomson) from Daniel (Eric Stoltz).
Kitchen Nightmares [9 PM, Fox]
If you can stomach watching a line cook serve scallops after they hit the floor, tune into tonight's edition of Chef Ramsay's reality food camp, when the British chef visits a Mexican restaurant in Newbury Park, California called Mama Rita's. As usual, Chef Ramsay will stroll into the joint, express disgust with everything from the menu to the kitchen to the wait staff and cause two line cooks to cry.
Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten [10:30 PM, IFC]
Julien Temple's epic documentary about the life and career of Clash co-founder Joe Strummer. The portrait of the punk rocker includes archival footage, witness testimonials, interviews with friends, family and collaborators like Mick Jones and Martin Scorsese.