If you missed last night's America's Next Top Model, you overlooked the most surreal runway mishap in any of the show's 200 cycles. Model Alexandra biffed twice during her presentation: Her first fall was a magnificent Miss Piggy faceplant down an epic staircase, but the second was a slice of gladiatorial wreckage for the ages. A giant pendulum thwacked young Alexandra into the stands, ripping her dress and dampening her competitive edge. Ahem: A PENDULUM. You may realize this is exactly like the old American Gladiators game "The Eliminator," where contenders had to dodge swinging obstacles that could feasibly knock them into a pit or concuss them for years. Insanely incredible. After the jump, we post the instant classic vid and four other ideas for withering reality shows in need of a Larry Csonka-approved overhaul.
Project Runway
American Gladiator Event: Assault
During judging, designers can silence Michael Kors midway through his lengthy diatribes -- if (and only if) they can shoot the target over his head using a Badgley-Mischka-designed crossbow hidden behind the runway. A direct hit sends the ever-umber Kors up in magnificent glitter-smoke. Stealthier contestants may fire from behind their models. The target will feature Isaac Mizrahi's grinning mug in the center.
Celebrity Apprentice
American Gladiator Event: Atlasphere
The Donald assigns the celebrities to combine forces as a single team for their most grueling challenge: Push him around the Upper East Side in an 11-foot urethane ball. Part of establishing an empire, Trump claims, is getting to know New York's citizens by rolling through the streets and gently bumping off pedestrians for three points apiece. Luckily, all proceeds go to charity.
The Amazing Race
American Gladiator Event: The Wall
In the event of a slow rock-climbing challenge, host Phil Keoghan reserves the right to smirk, climb up after a contestant or his gay brother, and grant a gentlemanly shove into the ocean. If a contestant beats Phil to the top (unlikely), he is obligated to flash a thumbs-up to awaiting cameramen and refer to himself with a nickname conceived at auditions.
Shear Genius
American Gladiator Event: The Joust
Host Camilla Alves explains that the clients all have "difficult" African-American hair that is only treatable with a jousting stick shaped like an oversize Q-Tip. Seems easy enough for the hairstyling vets, but wait: A leotarded Tabatha Coffey will use her own pugilist stick to tease the hair back to its original mess.
American Gladiators Next Top Model [Best Week Ever]