Jimmy Kimmel welcomed the blue-tied Robert Downey Jr. to his post-Oscar special Sunday night, where the actor unveiled the latest trailer for Iron Man 2. I'm just going to slap a huge SPOILER ALERT on this because everything that can possibly be good about the movie -- Downey's wan heroism, his chemistry with Don Cheadle and Gwyneth Paltrow, Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell turning the villain knob to 11, new outfits and gadgets, guitar wankery beneath roaring gunfire, etc. etc -- is all given away right here in under three minutes. Oh, and look: Scarlett Johansson! And her stunt double! This is filthy!
Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) makes an appearance as well, meaning that everyone is represented in every context the sequel plans for them, which also means that you have even less surprise to look forward to when the film opens next month. (Yes: Next month. Already!) Do Marvel and Paramount understand that trailers are intended to entice us? To rope us in with a sense of mystery and curiosity? Yes, this looks sharp, expensive, high voltage and like the blockbuster it will no doubt be. But it feels like it came out of a master bedroom in the San Fernando Valley, just like the rest of the world's lazy porn -- too busy piling on the gloss to concern itself with imagination.
Anyway, maybe ScarJo has actual lines in the movie as well; is learning that worth the price of admission?
VERDICT: Get me re-cut.