American Idol Recap: Crystal Vision

It's safe to say American Idol's five best female contestants outshine and outclass all of Tuesday night's dudes. I don't mean to downplay the fetal finesse of Aaron Kelly or the Kodiak growls of Lee Dewyze, but the ladies have a lock on season nine. Their rankings -- and my confusion with the judges' love of a certain wizardress -- after the jump:

10. Haeley Vaughn

"The Climb" is factory-built for talent show moments, so Haeley's wavering, flat take on the Miley jam is especially bad. Her time has come. Climb down the mountain and jump off the grappling hook into the lifeboat, dear.

9. Lacey Brown

Lacey Brown is a cute little thing who might be 50 years old, but at least "Kiss Me" was an appropriately youthful, whimsical number. Unfortunately, she sounds exactly like Sixpence None the Richer's chanteuse, and she added nothing to the studio version besides some pitch issues. Simon's bearded barley stood on end during the worst moments.

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Comments

  • getbacktowork says:

    louis, love your writing... love your passion!

  • OldTowneTavern says:

    Perhaps if you had switched Lilly's position with Katelyn's, we'd be closer in sentiment. What was it about Katelyn's decision to make The Scientist even more lugubrious than it originally was (though I love the original) and then end it on a strange loud incongrous high note that seemed like a good idea to her? Her power is in her belter voice, not her gift for reinterpretation. Siobhan has a strong voice as well, but no soul. She needs to steer away from Aretha and head towards Aerosmith. And, Lilly, well she provides Idol with something I admit I didn't know it needed... the look of a frosty Leather Tuscadero and the voice of a modern day Blossom Dearie. How strangely endearing.

  • Louis Virtel says:

    You know how protective I am over Leather Tuscadero. Lacey Brown is like backwoods concession-stand Pinky.