As we've previously discussed, the preferential voting system the Academy adopted for this year's ten-nominee-strong Best Picture race can be terribly, terribly complicated, with even our best efforts to explain the process generating more confusion than clarity. It's not at all surprising, then, that some Oscar voters find themselves so flummoxed by the blank ballot in front of them that they'd rather open a vein with the nibs of their pens rather than puzzle out what, exactly, the Academy expects them to do with the poorly explained voting thingy before them. (Have a look at Pete Hammond's new Gold Derby piece for some firsthand accounts of the rampant voter confusion now gripping the electorate.) We at Movieline feel the pain of these uncertainty-plagued individuals, and so we're offering the Academy a helping hand by providing a simplified set of Best Picture voting instructions so that the members' collective will can be communicated as painlessly as possible to the soon-to-be-harried accountants of PriceWaterhouseCoopers. Hit the jump for our helpful directions!
Hello, Academy Voter! Thank you for taking the time to fill out your ballot for Best Picture! Simply follow these easy, step-by-step instructions and sooner than you can say, "I'm up in the air for Up in the Air!" your votes will be in the mail, the vomiting from the panic-induced migraine will subside, and you can go back to making the Hollywood magic we're all going to celebrate on March 7th! Here we go!
1. Read the list of the ten Best Picture nominees.
2. Ask yourself, "Which of these ten films was my favorite?"
3. Place the number "1" in the space following the title of your favorite film. (The Academy recommends that you do not write out the number as "one" on the ballot; even though the accountants will still tabulate your vote, they find that an inelegant voting method.)
4. Congratulations! You have cast your vote for Best Picture!
5. Put aside the nagging thought, "Wait, am I supposed to vote for my 'favorite' film, or the 'best' film? These might be two different things." For the purposes of Best Picture voting, "favorite" and "best" will be considered the same thing.
6. But they're not really the same, you say? We're telling you: to us, they are! Don't sweat it!
6b. Fine. If you insist on obsessing over semantics, you can erase (or cross out) the "1" next to the name of your "favorite" film and place a new "1" next to the name of what you think is the "best" film. It's probably to the greater good that you now are recognizing the cinematic artistry of The Hurt Locker or Avatar instead of the feel-good simplicity of The Blind Side.
7. Are you suddenly a little worried that maybe it's not clear which film you actually voted for, the crossed-out/erased "1" or the "1" with the new, slightly smudgey "1" you wrote in after reevaluating your personal Best Picture criteria? Don't be. PriceWaterhouseCoopers' accountants are trained to discern the intent of even the sloppiest ballot. Please don't make an even bigger mess of things by circling your choice, or drawing little arrows that point to it, or writing "I MEANT THIS ONE" near it. They'll figure it out, promise!
8. Congratulations! You have cast your vote for Best Picture!
9. OK! Now on to choices 2 through 10!
10. Yes, even though you've already chosen your Best Picture, you now need to rank your second-favorite through tenth-favorite films!
11. Simply place the number "2" in the space next to your second-favorite film, "3" next to your third-favorite film, and so on, until all of the numbers between 2 and 10 are exhausted, and there are no films in the list without a number next to them.
12. Of course, you're right. We mean "second-best film," "third-best film," etc etc. We've already established that "best" is probably the preferred semantic expression of what we're looking for in a Best Picture. Thank you for the reminder!
13. Congratulations! You have cast your votes for Best Picture Two through Best Picture Ten!
14. But only Best Picture (ie, Best Picture One) will be receiving the Best Picture Oscar at the ceremony. Don't worry, we won't get confused and hand out a series of progressively smaller statuettes to every film on the list according to your ranks. We promise!
15. If you feel uneasy about ranking the films that were not your top Best Picture choice, just skip steps 9 through 14. We'll still count your original choice! (Not the one your erased or crossed out.) It'd just be nice to know how you feel about all ten films relative to one another, so that we can resolve any potential tiebreaking issues or nastiness related to our winner receiving a low number of actual first-place votes. But that's not your problem, so don't give it a second thought! We're not even sure why we're bringing it up, to be perfectly honest.
16a. If you're still confused and feel unable to properly execute your voting duties, you may use this pre-approved voting order in lieu of your own rankings:
1. The Hurt Locker
2. Avatar
3. Inglorious Basterds
4 Precious
5. Up
6. Up in the Air
7. An Education
8. A Serious Man
9. District 9
10. The Blind Side
17. You're done! Place your completed ballot (or mostly completed, if you decided not to bother ranking Best Picture Two Through Best Picture Ten, or opted for the pre-approved list) in the provided envelope.
18. At 5 p.m. on March 2nd ("Deadline Day"), a special PriceWaterhouseCoopers courier will arrive at your home to collect your Best Picture ballot. But please remember to separately submit the ballot containing your selections for all the other Oscar categories by U.S. mail, as the couriers will not be accepting those for hand-delivery!
19. Please do not re-open the envelope containing your ballot to 1) explain your actual Best Picture vote to the courier (they won't be the actual accountants who are tabulating your vote!) or 2) change your vote back to your "favorite" film from your chosen "best" film. Let it go. You're overthinking it now, and the couriers are very busy on Deadline Day!
20. Give the ballot to the courier. It's out of your hands now! See you on March 7th!