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Novelist Jackie Collins on Scandals, Secrets, Raunchy Morals and Angry Penises

As much a Hollywood legend as any of the stars she observes through the thin veils of her novels, Jackie Collins has spent more than four decades tracking the foibles of excess and the outer limits of privilege. Her latest book, Poor Little Bitch Girl, continues that quest for what feels like the post-potboiler generation, a vast readership for whom scandal and mischief is the key, not the barrier, to fame. Collins's iconic magnatrix Lucky Santangelo makes a few cameos, but really, Bitch Girl concentrates on a cluster of heirs to the Hollywood kingdom -- Lucky's club-owner son Bobby, A-list hooker Annabelle, power lawyer Denver, knocked-up Washington intern Carolyn -- who dare to consider a different path than the one their parents (not to mention Collins herself) bequeathed them. There's still plenty of sex, corruption, melodrama and other sordid schematics to keep the base happy. Between the lines, meanwhile, there's some subversive stuff for the rest of us.

Movieline recently caught up with Collins to discuss the slow march of scandal, what shocks her about the response to Bitch Girl, and a new role she has in mind for Angelina Jolie.

This book is lurid and depraved. I loved it.

Ha! I love that. "Lurid and depraved, I loved it." That's a quote I'm going to use.

Anything you need. Seriously, though: Where do you come up with this stuff?

It's very timely, isn't it? I mean, look at my cheating politician. When you look at what's going on in the headlines today and you've got Sanford and you've got Edwards, you think, "Oh, wow, I must have known this was going to happen." Because [Senator] Gregory Stoneman, in the book, is typical of these guys. They have the cold wife at home, and they think they can get any little intern. And then, when she gets pregnant, they want to run in the other direction. When Carolyn vanishes, it was kind of shades of what happened with the Chandra Levy case a few years ago. So ideas are all around. And of course, I got the idea for Annabelle because she was lying in bed with her boyfriend reading the papers and there was [Eliot] Spitzer all over the headlines.

Over 40 years ago, your first book, The World is Full of Married Men, was banned in several countries. Then last week before interviewing you, George Stephanopoulos couldn't even say the full title of this book on the air.

I know! What is going on here? People are always so shocked by what I do. I write strong women, and I turn the double standard on its head, and people seem to be threatened by that. I don't understand why they wouldn't say the title of my book when there was a big, big cookbook out recently called Skinny Bitch. That was all over the place, and that seemed to be fine.

Is culture more conservative or less conservative than it was when you started out?

I think there's always that kind of line that somebody wants to draw. I could write much more graphically if I felt like it. But I don't. I write characters that I want to interest people, and I want people's imaginations to take over at a certain point. But yeah, you never know who's going to object to what. I was shocked when they wouldn't say the title of the book.

What about Hollywood culture specifically?

I think in Hollywood culture you can get away with anything -- as long as it's not in the papers. I think there's always this underground in Hollywood that everybody here knows about but that never gets out. It used to be that when Rock Hudson was a huge star but was gay, nobody knew about it outside Hollywood. But everybody in Hollywood knew it. And I think the same thing still goes on: I think there are big movie stars who are secretly gay, and they've put on a very good front. They've got a wife and children, and the general public would not believe it. But in Hollywood it's a well-known fact.

Yet it seems less and less of Hollywood can be kept secret or private anymore. Has scandal itself changed? Is it just our way of disseminating and processing scandal?

I think with paparazzi and with the way that movie stars are followed today, it really is difficult for them to get away with anything. So I don't think it's really changed that much; I just think it's more public now. I think if [John F.] Kennedy were in power today, then he wouldn't get away with all his womanizing because it would be all over the papers. Back then he was able to get away with it. Politicians often come to Hollywood, and I know that they sleep with certain actresses -- famous actresses. Politicians tend to have a tremendous zipper problem. But it's getting less easy to do because people will find it out today.

We're also in the era where pretty much anybody can be a star. The Hills is a new generation's introduction to Hollywood. Does that cheapen the town -- both as a place and a symbol?

It's kind of just what's going on today. You take Jersey Shore, for instance. I mean, they're not going to be around that long. But while they are around, everybody wants to be a star. And so people think, "If they can do it, I could do it." It's just wish fulfillment in a way.

But you recently disclosed your affair with Marlon Brando when you were a teenager. A character in Bitch Girl once had an affair with Clark Gable. Who do teenagers today have? Taylor Lautner? Zac Efron? It's a disgrace.

Well, look: For the generation in their 20s, they're all sleeping with each other. Look at Alex Rodriguez, for instance. He goes from this star to that star to this star... John Mayer, whose interview I just read in Playboy. He sleeps with them all. It used to be people would try to keep it quiet, but now it's no longer quiet. Jessica Simpson is napalm in bed; she's like crack cocaine. This one is that, Jennifer Aniston is something else. There's no secrets anymore.

The late, great filmmaker Louis Malle reportedly once described you as a "raunchy moralist."

I love that description.

What does that mean to you?

It means I write extremely raunchy books, but they have a strong moral theme. If you're married, you should be faithful. My bad guys don't get away with anything; my good guys always come out on top. That doesn't always happen in life. So I think if you can create a character like that in fiction, it's kind of fun. When I write someone like Denver, she's going to be successful because she's a good person -- and I like that. And Frankie Romano, who's a total coke addict, probably won't have such a great run. Bobby Santangelo Stanislopoulos -- Lucky's son -- is my favorite character.

Why?

I don't know, there's just something about him. I don't know what he's going to do when I write him, but there's something I like. He has a great moral compass -- even though Zeena, the superstar, stalks him in the shower. Which, you know, can happen to anyone, right?

Of course! Now, you describe Sharif Rani's son as having a "small, angry" penis. Please help me understand: What makes a penis "angry"?

I don't know. That's a very interesting question. But you can tell immediately: They have kind of a shriveled look, and red. Very red. You can spot an angry penis a mile away, can't you?

I... guess?

You can! It's a description that I like.

Lucky Santangelo makes several appearances in this book. What's your relationship with that character after all these years? What does she mean to you?

She's my alter ego. She's the woman I would like to be in another life. I think she's fabulous, because she's so strong; she says all the things that women would like to say, but don't quite have the courage to do so. And she does all the thing that women would like to do. Lucky lives her life as a very strong man, you know? Men can get away with all kinds of stuff; a man is a stud, whereas a woman is a slut. A man is a mastermind at business, whereas a woman is a bitch. But Lucky is everything: She's powerful, she's beautiful, she can be vulnerable, yet she can have an acid tongue. She can fall in love; she has a great relationship with [her husband] Lennie. She's going to have a great relationship with her kids -- Bobby, whom I love, and Max, the teenage daughter who is a little Lucky.

I want to make another movie about Lucky. I wrote 10 hours of prime time for NBC -- two miniseries, Lucky Chances and Lady Boss. But I want to make a theatrical film. I want to see Angeline Jolie get her teeth into Lucky.

I'd read something about that. Is there any movement on that front?

Yeah, I'm making a movie at the moment, which is a premiere direct-to-DVD [Paris Connections], which is about another character I wrote named Madison Castelli. So I'm talking with the producer about bringing a Lucky movie to the screen. I mean, she's so popular. You see how popular the Sex and the City movies have been? Well, Lucky would be equally popular. She said confidently.