Warner Brothers has reportedly arrived at an executive decision on what to do with the man from Krypton, nearly four years after Bryan Singer's limp-fisted, Maury-rrific knockoff of the original did little to reinvigorate the brand. Deadline says Christopher Nolan will serve as a "godfather" figure on Superman Reboots 2. But who will be kissing his ring and pledging to darken things up by detonating Lois Lane with 500 tons of plastic explosives? Here's five directors who could save the seemingly hopeless franchise:
Rian Johnson
There's something appealing about pairing the cerebral writer/director of the savagely clever teen noir Brick and Joyceian crime caper Brothers Bloom with Nolan, who could probably help Johnson translate his many small, smart ideas onto something on the scale of a thinking man's Superman movie. And once we're going there, why not? Let's reunite Rian with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. As Brick's Brendan Frye, he was the lone crusader for truth, justice and the suburban way, and if Hesher proved anything, it's that the guy can convincingly and entertainingly do some serious damage in his underwear.
Timur Bekmambetov
What we learned from Superman Returns is that what the world does not need now is a mopey, reverential Superman who may or may not have sired a bastard-El at some point is his wild bachelor days here on Earth. No, what this franchise needs is a swift, unself-serious kick in the tights, and Bekmambetov could provide just that. Yes, he's currently preoccupied with his own comic book franchise, readying Wanted 2 for production -- but whatever. This is Superman, we're talking about here! Protector of Metropolis! All those exploding rats and magical looming crap can wait.
Spike Jonze
Warner Bros. isn't likely to entrust Jonze with anything more than a Coffee Bean drink order after the runaway headache that was Where the Wild Things Are, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't do something amazing with a dusty property. From his music videos for bands like Weezer and Beastie Boys to this year's Wild Things, Jonze has always delighted in playing with ideas of pop culture familiarity and Americana. What more iconic example of that, then, is the Superman legend? (Also: There's a strong chance he'd find a way to incorporate Krypto.)
Lone Scherfig
The director of An Education has said herself she's ready to move on from sweet, small-scaled romances ("I want to make a movie with chases and explosions!"). And if the new tone of superhero franchises has to probe into relationships and lean towards emo, then why not go with someone who can do it without Singer's maudlin conceits or Nolan's overbearing seriousness? Fine -- we'll just come out and say it: Why can't we finally give one of these superhero franchises to a woman?
Adam Shankman
Did you think we were going to say John Waters? Look -- no matter how you slice it, Superman is a corny legend from a corny, bygone era. If we can for a moment put aside the specter of his tweets on the subject ("Quick show of hanz: shud kryptonians b SYTYCD alumz? will check after the gym!"), what Shankman has going for him is enough energy to power Baltimore, a Pollyannaish spirit befitting the subject, and, with Bedtime Stories, a proven track-record with big-budget fantasy and effects. He might not exactly be the most popular choice among fanboys, but if anyone can return the shine to Superman's belt and boots, it's Shankman.