General Larry Platt appeared in the Atlanta auditions of American Idol, looking like a fool with his self-penned song "Pants on the Ground" on the metaphorical ground of America's living rooms. Simon Cowell blithely remarked that the song could be a hit, and now it just may be: The viral sensation is now a fully produced, three-and-a-half-minute jam. The song, embedded after the break, is still as high on life (and the waist) as you remember.
· Slick! Too bad Platt's dastardly ex-manager might be releasing the track without his permission.
· Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper could laugh about small penises for days. Thanks for the revelation, Maria Menounos.
· Did you see Jeremy Renner find out about his Oscar nomination? Scientists cannot defuse how cute it is.
· If Ridley Scott still plans on making that Monopoly movie, he may be forced to build it on a circular, Les Miserables-style set. It's a small Luxury Tax to pay for authenticity.
· Highly rated drama The Good Wife has a new episode tonight. Need to catch up? Caution: It will take you a whole four minutes. Relax: Half the running time is closeups of Christine Baranski's smirk .
· Conan O'Brien's inevitable trek to Fox has one wrench in the gears: Rupert Murdoch and his clan are on the fence.