The largest problem with Jay Leno's opening soliloquies this week has not been their cruel bite. It's that he's not auctioning off his self-sabotaging jabs to the highest bidder! Now you, dear Movieline tribesman, can own your favorite quibble about ratings, NBC, or the vistas at Fox on CD or Minidisc. Play it in the car when you're feeling down! Because Jay Leno proves that anybody can pity himself -- even a guy who owns a Corvette in every shade of Crayola Washable. So, who's winning the woes?
Joai on 5 Reasons Why James Franco Might Hug an Anime Body Pillow on 30 Rock: "Looks like a few of the anime 'otaku' types have come here to chime in on this. I suppose you guys have prettier ones in your basement?"
SunnyDaze on Late Night Highlights: Ranking the Leno Wreckage, From Richter's Plea to Kimmel's Epic Send-Up: "I read once that 1 in 200 men worldwide are related to Genghis Khan. I think we can all agree that one of these men is Jay Leno.:
NoWireHangers on Claire Danes On HBO's Original Autistic-Cowgirl Biopic, Temple Grandin: "Why are they remaking It's Pat!?"
Bourgeois Nerd on Roman Polanski's The Ghost Writer Trailer: The Book of Ruth: "Ms. Love-Hewitt: the word is "vagina." You're an adult woman; you can say the word without resorting to cutesy euphemisms. Love your vagina!"
Martini Shark on Movieline Predicts 10 Bad Movies We'll Love in 2010: "Jump The Shark = television show past its peak. Nuke The Fridge = Movie franchise that is no longer sustainable I posit a new cultural expression: Sweep the Leg = any remake that is laughably horrible compared to the original."
Congrats to the winners!