In a year of turmoil, reality TV remained its slutty, money-grubbing, and Seacrest-laden self. That's consistency we applaud. Instead of trying in vain to name the year's greatest reality star (whatever, Lambskanks, you can't force me), Movieline reflects on the entire 12 months, reacquaints you with its investigations into Audrina Patridge's confusion and Tim Gunn's contempt, and affixes a bow to this gift of a year.
American Idol
We can agree that the eighth season of Idol was the finest one in years, but many can't decide who deserved to win. All I know: 1) Kris Allen loves Independence Day, and that is adorable; 2) Adam Lambert loves wearing sidewalk-chalk colors, and that is something; 3) Kris and Adam both love Michelin Man suits, and Anoop Desai thinks that's hilarious.
Project Runway
The fashion staple's move to Lifetime and Los Angeles was only semi-successful. On the bright side, an evil countess from the Republic of Georgia took home the big prize, and one contestant deemed storks sexy. But watch out, Irina: It looks like the new batch of seamsters are top-notch.
Jon & Kate Plus 8
Reality television is often more interesting for what happens behind the scenes, or in front of paparazzi for months on end. No one proved this more than 2009 juggernauts Jon and Kate Gosselin, who garnered parodies, lawsuits, and dubious chance for a spin-off.
The Hills
Movieline's intrepid recapper Julie Miller spent weeks figuring out what was real and fake on The Hills. Guess which way the scales usually tipped. Speaking of cliches, guess which romantic comedy Audrina Patridge loves?
Top Chef
I investigated the finale, but really, the most recent Top Chef season is best remembered with a commemorative calendar and the comic talents of Padma Lakshmi.
Dancing With the Stars
Were you upset by Donny Osmond's win? Enough to out-cry Aaron Carter? Our girl Mya dominated Donny throughout the season, and we still feel for her battered feet.
Jersey Shore
They've only been around for a month (not even), but the cast of Jersey Shore has already proven itself a highlight of '09. Whether they're reenacting the nativity, pimping for spin-offs on Conan, or being wusses, this troop assures you that questionable Jersey representation is the real Situation.
The Biggest Loser
I don't know who should feel more cheated after this most recent season -- runner-up Rudy Paul or winner Danny Cahill's jettisoned 230+ pounds.
The Real Housewives
Whether they were reprimanded by A Cop Without A Badge or national security, Andy Cohen's angels took partying to illegal extremes.
The Amazing Race
And just when you count the Harlem Globetrotters out of vogue, they skyhook into your lives with an Amazing Race comeback.