Next up in our cavalcade of celebrity Fave Five lists comes this one, from one of Movieline's favorite actors/comedians/cultural commentators/Lost fan-artists extraordinaire: Paul Scheer. Enjoy!
Best Song of the Year: Parry Grip, "This is the Best Burrito"
"Jay-Z forget Alicia Keys and team-up with a real talent, I'm speaking of course of Parry Grip. 'THIS IS THE BEST BURRITO' is definitely the song of the year and perhaps the decade. But it's not just the song, the accompanying video is hypnotic and puts Fantastic Mr. Fox to shame. The end reveal will blow your mind."
Best Movie of the Year: Crank 2: High Voltage
"Action, Comedy, Drama, Suspense, and Chev Chelios; this movie has got it all. Jason Statham is equal parts Stallone, Schwarznegger, Daniel Day Lewis and Charlie Chaplin in this film.
My favorite scene might be the racetrack sex scene which defies explanation all I'll say is, 'horse penis.' This film might be the most offensively brilliant action film of all time.
Honestly, I'm amazed this movie didn't get any recognition in the Awards circles, because I don't think there is a screenplay that can beat dialogue like this:
Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakum): Chev, I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I was. Lost my license after I fucked up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is - if you get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you."
Best Nominated Actor Not to Win an Award: Mickey Rourke
"It seems like every year we get a new collection of crazy people but none are as cool and interesting as Mickey Rourke. So for me the biggest disappointment of last year was Mickey Rourke NOT winning the Oscar for The Wrestler. If he did win we were sure to get the best acceptance speech of all time. Just look at his Independent Spirit Award speech, where he told Hollywood to forgive Eric Roberts for doing blow and beating up his girlfriend 15 years ago and that was the most tame moment of the speech. All I know is from his red carpet appearances where he propositioned female entertainment reporters for sex, routinely cussed up a storm, and talked about the passing of his beloved Chihuahua Loki we better hope he gets nominated again and soon."
Best New Website: Faces of Old Dogs
http://facesofolddogs.tumblr.com/
"I think it was Dame Judi Dench who said, 'The key to great acting is all about the faces you make.' If that's true then the best acting of all time must be in Disney's OLD DOGS. Human Giant writer and director Jason Woliner created this site to celebrate the best acting faces of its stars including John Travolta, Robin Williams, Kelly Preston and more."
Best Invented Technology: D-Box Seats
"If sound was the birth of cinema than D-Box seats is cinema getting laid. Finally see FAST AND FURIOUS the way it was intended -- in malfunctioning Massage Chairs. No longer be a passive viewer of cinema, now every movie can be like Star Tours: The Ride. So far only 2 theaters have adopted this technology but can the world be far behind? The D-Box revolution has begun."