9 Groundbreaking Moments From Michael Bay's New Victoria's Secret Commercial

Better late than never, find herewith Michael Bay's blustery, satiny, much-anticipated Victoria's Secret commercial. The spot premiered during the recent VS Fashion Show on CBS, distilling a grab bag of Bay fetishes -- nudity, pyrotechnics, violence, aircraft (both idle and in operation), expensive cars, and women in peril -- to one extraordinary 92-second sit. And by "extraordinary," I mean "hunched so far over my desk with laughter I missed half the good stuff." So after several more thorough looks, and without further comment, I present nine mindblowing frames from an unprecedented masterwork of ADD, bombast, spectacle and tastelessness -- which of course I mean in only the best way. (The full ad follows as well.)

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Comments

  • Old No.7 says:

    I just had an explosion in my pants.

  • NoWireHangers says:

    I think it might have been subtler if they'd used the slogan: This Christmas: PUSSY!!1!

  • SunnydaZe says:

    I'm calling my lawyers! That is an exact rip-off of the letter I just sent to Santa!!

  • J. Shaffer says:

    Well. . . what do you expect? After seeing that turd of a movie (Transformers 2) I would expect him to make a turd of a commercial. . . that's what he does, make really expensive turds.
    Someone need to take away his director's license and send him back to McDonalds. . .

  • sdaffsd says:

    there was only a split second of part of 1 stocking? Is Michael Bay straight or something else, cause that's kind of telling

  • Catherine says:

    i liked it, i thought it was awesome

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Then I would like to pick you up in my helicopter and take you to my jet plane where we will then fly to Paris for coffee. Say around 6pm this evening? Wear nothing but bra and panties from VS, of course....

  • black says:

    FUCK,
    What u all white rats doing ?
    You are all fool.
    This skinny WHITE rats are beauty ?
    They make me wanna puke.
    I must say they look fucking UN-HOT
    SHE dont even look beautiful and she looks like a white skinny ass dog.
    I bet they didnt eat b4 thsi PIC/.
    Well FUCK
    And ummm so u know am BLACK and i love them BLACK cuties.
    Hey don't think i wrote out of turn i know some spellings here are incorrect but hey what the fun of writing.
    Idiots

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Somehow, the above comment is less frightening if you beat-box while reading it.

  • Well now I know what kind of stocking to hang on my mantle - a sheer sandle-toe with a backseam. Santa, do your thing and fill it with an emaciated Euro-babe with a pout - Oh, and a wind machine.

  • el smrtmnky says:

    i saw this whilst watching the 'fashion' show last week and all i could think was: Versailles has a pool table?

  • Joe the Plumber says:

    We really need to do something about these inner city schools. We are dumping tax dollars(money that is confiscated from working people by the government) at them with no positive results. See example below:
    user-pic
    From black | Reply
    Posted 08 Dec 2009, 2:18 PM
    FUCK,
    What u all white rats doing ?
    You are all fool.
    This skinny WHITE rats are beauty ?
    They make me wanna puke.
    I must say they look fucking UN-HOT
    SHE dont even look beautiful and she looks like a white skinny ass dog.
    I bet they didnt eat b4 thsi PIC/.
    Well FUCK
    And ummm so u know am BLACK and i love them BLACK cuties.
    Hey don't think i wrote out of turn i know some spellings here are incorrect but hey what the fun of writing.
    Idiots

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Yes, that needed to be repeated. I hope it is repeated at least seven more times....