Weekend Receipts: Team Blind Side

As America recovers from quite possibly its most carb-loaded Thanksgiving ever (apocalypse angst = good for the boxed-stuffing industry), we turn now to the last person in the country not struggling to close his pants: New Moon breakout wolf Taylor Lautner. May his abs be a shining beacon to all of us mortal fatties. More on New Moon's second week of dominance -- and the little Sandra Bullock football movie that nearly toppled it -- after the jump.

1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Gross: $42,500,000 (cume: $230,674,000)

Screens: 4,042 (PSA: $10,515)

Weeks: 2 (change: -70.2%)

Not even a 70% drop could dislodge New Moon from pole position, guaranteeing at least one more week of fanboy-blogger tooth-gnashing, the volume and vehemence of which exists in precise direct proportion to the explicitness of the homoerotic werewolf dreams to bevisit them the night before.

2. The Blind Side

Gross: $40,125,000 (5-day cume: $100,250,000)

Screens: 3,140 (PSA: $12,779)

Weeks: 2 (change: +17.6%)

The real story of the weekend, however, is that of Bullock sleeper The Blind Side -- a college football weepy that showed up at the right place and the right time, and managed the unlikely feat of climbing 18% in its second session (with a negligible change in theater count). It's easily heading for a career-best take for its star. In light of significant recent buzz-cooling on The Lovely Bones and The Last Station, we are now going to officially kick off the Movieline Let's Get Sandy Bullock an Oscar™ campaign, co-sponsored by Gillette Daisy Disposable Razors!

3. 2012

Gross: $18,000,000 (cume: $138,776,000)

Screens: 3,444 (PSA: $5,226)

Weeks: 3 (Change: -31.8%)

2012 enjoyed a healthy third session, as families across the country -- looking for something more peaceful and relaxing than the seismic blowouts they had at the dinner table the night before -- turned to the quiet comforts of Roland Emmerich's disaster porn masterpiece for relief.

4. Old Dogs

Gross: $16,846,000 (5-day cume: $24,085,000)

Screens: 3,425 (PSA: $4,919)

Weeks: 1

Please indulge me as I partake now in the ancient trade-news ritual known as "punenfreude headline writing."

· Old Dogs Rolls Over and Dies

· Old Dogs Fails to Fetch Box Office Dollars

· You Can't Teach Old Dogs New Ways to Bring Audiences Into Your Terrible Movie

· Old Dogs Leaves Steaming Puddle of Diarrhea on the Carpet

Thanks. That's out of my system.

6. Ninja Assassin

5-Day Gross: $21,010,000

This is my impression of the Ninja Assassin poster I can't seem to get away from: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghrhgaaaaaaaaaaaamekillyoumekillyouhowyoulikemyleatherjacket

iforgottowearashirtaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!"

7. The Fantastic Mr. Fox

5-Day Gross: $10,108,000

Wes Anderson's charming concoction sputtered in its wide release, failing to lure the hidden audience segment that turned out in droves for the bipolar furries convention that was Where the Wild Things Are.

11. The Road

5-Day Gross (111 screens): $2,001,000

In its limited rollout, the much-much-much-delayed Cormac McCarthy adaptation posted healthy per-screen numbers -- partially due to a number of out-of-the-box-thinking theater owners who packaged the film with 2012, and billed the epic, end-of-the-world double-feature as The Lord of the Apocalypse Godfather Rings Wars Trilogy.

[Figures: Box Office Mojo]