Weekend Receipts: The Golden Age of the Fangirl

Great Moments in U.S. Girl History

· 1893: Colorado becomes the first state to grant women the right to vote

· 1960: Eleanor Roosevelt named chairwoman of JFK's Commission on the Status of Women

· 1963: Betty Friedan publishes The Feminine Mystique

· 1972: Congress passes the Equal Rights Amendment

· 2005: Stephenie Meyer publishes Twilight

· 2009: New Moon opens, grosses $140.7 million in three days

· 2010: The Oprah Winfrey Show airs its final broadcast

· 2012: "Daddy! No more pull-ups!"

1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Gross: $140,700,000 (new)

Screens: 4,024 (PSA: $34,965)

Weeks: 1

After two record-breaking days, the second chapter of The Twilight Saga has accomplished the unthinkable, earning twice what its predecessor did in the same time frame, and closing out the weekend with a gobsmacking $140.7 million. That's the third-biggest opening ever, behind Spider-Man 3 and The Dark Knight, and the first movie in history to boast a 99.999999% attendance record in females 12-19 demographic (which basically translates to every single teenage girl in America having seen the film at least once, with the exception of Miley Cyrus).

It truly is a staggering amount. To help you make sense of it, we've broken the numbers down for you thusly:

cullens1.jpg

$7.82 million per Taylor Lautner ab

$28.14 million per interrupted Jacob/Bella kiss

$2.97 million per shirtless Jacob minute

$4.56 million per pouting and/or brooding Edward minute

$17.59 million per Cullen family member spending the entirety of their screen time standing in a living room and emphasizing how much they really like Bella

$598,000 per homoerotic subtext

$1.78 per squee

2. The Blind Side

Gross: $34,510,000 (new)

Screens: 3,110 (PSA: $11,096)

Weeks: 1

Atta girl, Sandy! As we predicted, The Blind Side vastly exceeded expectations, restoring the momentum to star Sandra Bullock's big year after the temporary, hooker-booted setbacks of What About Steve. With the bar set so uncommonly high by New Moon, James Cameron is indeed wishing right about now that he had the Bullock Factor blowing against his back as we approach Avatar's high-stakes debut.

3. 2012

Gross: $26,500,000 (cume: $108,221,000)

Screens: 3,408 (PSA: $7,776)

Weeks: 2 (Change: -59.4%)

Remember when all anyone could ever talk about was Roland Emmerich's feverish vision of the end of days, depicted as man's fruitless attempts to defy the will of a rampaging mother nature armed with nothing but Chinese ingenuity and a pair of disposable potty training pants? Those were the days.

4. Planet 51

Gross: $12,600,000 (new)

Screens: 3,035 (PSA: $4,152)

Weeks: 1

Neither Delgoian disgrace nor Ice Ageian triumph, Planet 51 will have to settle for being but a family-friendly footnote to a great moment in box office history, sitting as it does in fourth place of the second-highest-grossing weekend of all time. You helped in your little way, Planet 51. We pat you now on your adorable alien head and send you along.

5. A Christmas Carol

Gross: $12,230,000 (cume: $79,791,000)

Screens: 3,578 (PSA: $3,418)

Weeks: 3 (Change: -45.2%)

Disney's $200 million, alternately nap- and headache-inducing, mo-capped holiday event very nearly reached the milestone number of $80 million this weekend, or as Taylor Lautner refers to it, "a matinee."

[Figures: Box Office Mojo]



Comments

  • metroville says:

    That last great moment would be impossible: there's no way a two-and-a-half-hour disaster epic would ever double as a commercial for diapers.

  • Colander says:

    Not to always rag on James Cameron, but he might want to consider editing some exposed penises or something into Avatar. The people have spoken, and they want meat.

  • So New Moon didn't beat the Dark Knight or Spiderman, eh? I guess that means boyz rule and girls drool.

  • NoWireHangers says:

    On the one hand, it's good to see a movie that wasn't made for 18-24 year old males do well. On the other, New Moon was a stinky, stinky piece of shit. So many plot holes and unanswered questions: Wouldn't the werewolves rip their cutoffs with every roid-induced rage transformation? It was long and boring and bad. But yes, Taylor Lautner's abs were amazing.