1. Diane Kruger
Protractors ready: Diane Kruger reigned as the night's most symmetrical human being. A perfected Maureen McCormick, if you will. Kruger beats the record previously set by Cameron Diaz and obsessive-compulsive kids' drawings in the game "Hangman."
2. Tippi Hedren
The former Nathalie Kay Hedren, at 79 years old, strolled the press line with sophisticated ease. That doesn't sound like a feat, but the red carpet alone would've destroyed Marnie. I don't like it when he hugs me either, Mama. (Click to 8:45).
3. Stunt Coordinator Garrett Warren
The man behind the rumbling of Avatar and A Christmas Carol is clearly auditioning for his roughest role yet -- that of Sagat in as-yet-to-be-announced-or-even-conceived Street Fighter: The Ocular Legend of Sagat. Wes Studi, take a seat.
4. Anna Kendrick
Anna Kendrick plays a corporate, pencil-skirted underling in Up in the Air, and maybe that's not a coincidence, because she looks a like a Jewish version of Tracy Flick, except without the quite-so-overt ruthlessness.
5. Ann Roth
The Oscar-winning costumer garnered hoots and applause when she said she doesn't consider herself "behind-the-scenes," and that actors are the ones "behind her clothes." I gave her the same hoots years ago upon seeing the sea-green blazer she picked out for Joan Cusack in Working Girl.
6. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel
Joseph Gordon-Levitt has such a darling mug that I can no longer fondly remember that time he received an ice skate through the face. Similarly, it's hard for me to recall when Deschanel took that kid to a museum while his too-imaginative friend perished. Look at them now. Greeting card company-worthy, no doubt.
7. Christoph Waltz
It's no surprise that the man who exhibited trilingual fluency in Inglourious Basterds was a helluva speaker -- his declaration of editor and frequent Tarantino collaborator Sally Menke's talents was thoroughly articulate: "The immense sensitivity and musicality with which Sally captures pacing and the visceral spark between characters vivifies our experience of the movies she has edited."
8. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
You should've seen little Kyle Buchanan interview director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck on the red carpet. Buchanan, at a scrappy 5'10", held the microphone up to the sky to speak with von Donnersmarck, who was at least 6'5. I understand Kyle nabbed an actual journalistic scoop, but to me it all looked like a pie-eyed kindergartener peering skyward and whispering, "I want to be like Mike."
9. Elvis Mitchell
The host of the night's festivities introduced each award-winner with aplomb, but he mostly succeeded at wearing this suit. You'll see here that it is tight and of the FutureSex/LoveSounds variety. Time for A.O. Scott to counter with a J.C. Chasez sweatervest-and-sneakers combo.