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Rihanna to 'Tell All' in the Face of Diane Sawyer's Condescending Squint

Against all odds and Diane Sawyer's bitter blinks, Rihanna will allegedly "tell all" on Thursday's episode of Good Morning America and on Friday's edition of 20/20 . In the meantime, let's bandy the finer journalistic points of this occasion: For instance, will Rihanna mockingly don a baby-blue sweater and bow-tie? Will she too make a misguided Shakespearean reference, claw at an ugly patch of brunette in Sawyer's hair, and exclaim, "Out, out, damn spot?" And lastly, will she dedicate her new single "Russian Roulette" to "all the ladies out there getting hunted like deer"? Preview after the jump.

Vague, no? There's not even an interview still, which could be telling. I think this means we can expect a lawyer to chime in every 20 seconds, even when Elizabeth Vargas asks a relatively inoffensive question like, "Who are you and what have you done with Jermaine Stewart?"

Rihanna to Speak Out on 'Good Morning America' [MTV]