The Counting Crows once sang "We all want to be big stars," and one of the key reasons for that is the easy voiceover work. You show up at some recording studio in the valley for a couple days, knock out your lines while wearing pajamas and then just wait for the junket. Tonight, the Monsters vs. Aliens crew (Reese Witherspoon, Will Arnett, Seth Rogen and Hugh Laurie) reprise their film roles in a 30-minute Halloween special that will air on NBC. And this time, no junket!
Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space [8 PM, NBC]
No one expects tonight's holiday special to match the original $165 million feature in quality, but it is a refreshing break for kids who can't quite get into Mercy and still need to be in bed by 9 PM. After a spaceship unloads scary goop all over the hometown pumpkin patch, super-sized Susan Murphy (Witherspoon) must take down the murderous, candy-hungry, mutated gourds.
Top Chef: Las Vegas [10 PM, Bravo]
Hopefully, Natalie Portman can redeem herself to the nasty anti-vegan community with her guest appearance on tonight's Top Chef. Last season, the cheftestants had a difficult time cooking for fellow vegan and severely allergy-afflicted actress/musician/ingenue Zooey Deschanel. Hopefully during this go-around people are better prepared for the guest judge's long list of food restrictions and know to stay away from rice milk.
Friday Night Lights [9 PM, DirecTV]
The annual period of torture for FNL devotees who don't have the dish begins tonight with the series airing its first run on DirecTV before running repeats during NBC's spring line-up. A whole combo platter of spicy Texas drama went down at the end of last season and now Kyle Chandler's Coach Taylor has given up his hearty dreams for the Dillon Panthers to take the reigns of the dirt school East Dillon Lions while his wife (Connie Britton) remains principal of the redistricting Dillon High.
Hocus Pocus [9 PM, Lifetime]
Kenny Ortega is now best known as the last man to help Michael Jackson channel his creativity and the guy who unleashed the High School Musical phenomenon, but most people do not remember this directorial departure from singing, dancing and mincing. Bette Midler chomps the scenery as only she can as witchy villain Winnie, and while the performance is more campy than scary, she never slips into anything sympathetic unlike her cohorts Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy. Ernest Scared Stupid is a better Halloween film by leaps and bounds, but the Divine Miss M could videotape herself cleaning an Arby's bathroom and it would still be entertaining.